Do as much as you can. Do shit that other people would consider “weird” or “dumb” like getting a cheap weave, disguising your gender, changing jobs frequently, getting fired, traveling through the Sahel by yourself on a motorbike, drinking in the morning, growing your nails two inches long, majoring in mortuary science, and/or taking the last bus of the day to the end of the line in the suburbs with no way to get back home.
While my days as an angst-ridden, jobless youth are long gone, the emails I sent during that time are still alive and well in the depths of my outbox. There is nothing quite as painful as finding evidence of what a tool you were when applying for jobs as a recent college graduate. Here are ten examples of why it took me six months to get hired.
The list of Disney heroines that I’d really like to have hot sex with goes something like this: (1) Belle from Beauty and the Beast. (2) Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. (3) …An-nnd that’s about it, I guess.
Among the amazing tidbits of information: Meth heads will always S your D whereas stoners never like to do it, Punky Brewster is the poster child for Ecstasy and cocaine users like to wear Ed Hardy!