When you get into a relationship, you’re going to be a lot fatter? You’ll be eating spaghetti and meatballs every night, which will be topped with I’m In Love sauce. Every dollop of I’m In Love sauce contains 3,000 calories though. In fact, every time you tell your significant other “I love you”, you go up a waist size.
Survey the fridge. Chinese take-out from two weeks ago: not edible. Mustard: edible. Cheese: edible? It looks okay. You scan the island and spot a heel of bread left over that’s sort of wrapped up in plastic. You’ll risk it.
As the brain starts to rewire itself, the Blogger begins to concoct memories of events that never occurred, such as traumatic breakups, excommunication from the church post-tattoo, and the time it almost died in a tragic elephant riding accident at Six Flags Great Adventure.
The cycle tends to go like this: mid-winter when we’re clad head-to-toe in black, wading around in the grey slushy that has been thrown Glee-style in the face of our city; all we can do is long for the long days of summer.