You two seem to be hitting it off, nice. I’m genuinely happy for you; I know you’ve been on a down streak lately. She seems cool. Meanwhile, I have to answer this text message, and then proceed to admire anything in my field of vision that is not this sullen, bored creature who I am unable to relate with. I’m wondering where the bathroom is, or if I could ever DJ at a place like this. I’m not a DJ. It would be pretty sweet to be a DJ.
She’s got long blond hair and curves and when she walks into a room, men act like a literal bomb’s gone off. One time, our mom scolded me by asking, “You know how Tina Fey is beautiful when she’s Tina Fey and not as beautiful when she’s Liz Lemon? Why do you insist on Liz Lemon-ing yourself?” Direct quote.
In addition to philosophy being, you know, ‘valuable’ (the unexamined life is not worth living blahblahblah you still don’t give a shit do you?), the lives of some of the most famous philosophers were pretty effing buzzworthy. So come on people, if we’re going to live in a culture that airs the likes of Holly’s World and a Double Shot at Love, we’re kind of obligated to give these guys a chance, right?
After nearly two years of being gym-less, hitting the cardio machines again is quite a feat. Luckily, I’ve assimilated well, thanks to my cost-saving 5th floor walk up and penchant for getting lost any time I’m off the grid (resulting in 20 extra blocks between myself and my destination)…