A new kind of relationship seems to have sprung from online dating and technology, which is The Two Week Relationship. It’s when you date someone from anywhere to two weeks to a month and then decide to drop off the face of the planet.
I’d come up with an idea, type it out, and send it around the internet before I really thought it out. The ladies on Myspace loved it. I’ve since come to the understanding that I’m not a poet, which is okay. I don’t want or need this title, I just need to recant some of the ideas I had so that others won’t adopt them.
Crushes make us feel good. They distract us, give us something to hope for, and occasionally make us smile. When we have them on someone who’s unavailable, they give the impression that we’re taking a stab at moving on. “Hey guys, look at me! Feelin’ feelings again!”
My time at the diner was brief. But in that time I learned many things, some worthwhile (how to prepare Eggs Benedict, how to enjoy whisky milkshakes) and some not-so-worthwhile (where to reliably find extra ketchup packets on the supply truck).
Wait, did I miss the memo? When did we transition from college meals of spaghetti tossed in an Adderall reduction sauce to kale salads, market veggies, and seitan? I mean, I’m all about eating healthy because it makes you happy and skinny and is, like, good for you and stuff.