Rock bottom means things can’t get worse. It means you don’t have any expectations. It gives you a degree of consistency. In short, rock bottom is your safety net—it gives you something familiar to fall back into if you lose your grip when you’re trying to claw your way out of lumps of crap that have piled up on top of you.
Because our reality, right now, it’s just about falling in love. Let’s put the real stuff aside—the past, our insecurities, all the baggage we’ve imported from all our journeys—and let’s just be. This is our moment to be fanciful, and we might not get another one, at least not together. I don’t want to have to “deal” and “cope” and “work” yet.
I’m sorry for writing this letter and not letting you live a happy, peaceful life with your girlfriend who didn’t ask for a glass of ice water. I’m sorry that I wasn’t brave enough to take a risk.
For me, the first time it became an issue was with a man I had been sleeping with for only a few weeks. He was attractive and intelligent, a quality human being, sexually compatible with me, and generally, a pleasure to spend time with…