8 Things You Forgot About Being Single
After months of contemplating every possible alternative to uttering those fateful words to your not-so-significant other, you’ve unlocked yourself from the death-grip of your dying relationship. Now that you stand on the precipice of The Beginning of the Rest of Your Life, here are a few things you may encounter upon your recent release back into the wild.
On Not Jumping
One day I walked into Barnes & Noble and bought the book “Don’t Jump!” just for hell of it. I waited in the 20-minute line and when it was my turn at the counter I plopped it down next to the register triumphantly.
Things That You Will Do After You’ve Had A Bad Boyfriend
Everyone looks like him, all the time. And as soon as I see anyone that even mildly resembles him, I’m back to when I was consumed by thoughts of him and honestly believed that I was in love, and I’m afraid.
Finding Her Middle Name
We ended up at her place, an apartment with furnishings out of a catalog that I would never own. Everything new and not our age. Clean: the vacuum’s tracks incised like initials carved in tree bark, the couch that no one sits on, for guests. Everything unopened, still sealed. I didn’t think we could ever be this careful.
Some Brief Thoughts On Why Roseanne Is Still Great in 2011
What sells the show is the Connor family’s ability to stay vibrant and stay light (figuratively speaking… they’re pretty fat) through everything. In a similar situation where no one is quite getting theirs, the Connors display a more fun alternative than shame and bitterness.
