After months of contemplating every possible alternative to uttering those fateful words to your not-so-significant other, you’ve unlocked yourself from the death-grip of your dying relationship. Now that you stand on the precipice of The Beginning of the Rest of Your Life, here are a few things you may encounter upon your recent release back into the wild.
One day I walked into Barnes & Noble and bought the book “Don’t Jump!” just for hell of it. I waited in the 20-minute line and when it was my turn at the counter I plopped it down next to the register triumphantly.
Everyone looks like him, all the time. And as soon as I see anyone that even mildly resembles him, I’m back to when I was consumed by thoughts of him and honestly believed that I was in love, and I’m afraid.
We ended up at her place, an apartment with furnishings out of a catalog that I would never own. Everything new and not our age. Clean: the vacuum’s tracks incised like initials carved in tree bark, the couch that no one sits on, for guests. Everything unopened, still sealed. I didn’t think we could ever be this careful.
What sells the show is the Connor family’s ability to stay vibrant and stay light (figuratively speaking… they’re pretty fat) through everything. In a similar situation where no one is quite getting theirs, the Connors display a more fun alternative than shame and bitterness.