How, in an age where we earnestly refer to ourselves as “plugged-in” and “wired,” are we taking ourselves so seriously that we bemoan the use of a smiley face now and again?
I don’t know about you, but the New Year’s resolution I make most often while watching the fireworks is that I need to watch more fireworks. They are so absorbing that I completely ignore whoever I’m standing with, and if someone even dares to talk to me, I simply mutter, “Please, shut up.”
Formatted similarly to Jon and Kate Plus 8, this show would follow a 25-year-old version of myself and whoever lives with me at that point in my life as we struggle to keep up with our careers and relationships while attempting to raise eighteen cats in a small studio apartment.
By most measures, I was never a heavy smoker. Even after seven years, a typical day of home to work to home would entail at most only six or seven cigarettes. This may be why the process of quitting, which I undertook two months ago, has gone smoother than I imagined.
“Hi, this is Sean from Debt Collection Unlimited, or DCU. While you’re shooting daggers at your boyfriend for handing you the phone even though I asked for you by your full name, which should have been a tip-off that this call was of the nefarious, debt collecting nature, let me tell you how your life will change for the worse from here on out.