I cringe when I think about how awful I was to my parents. How did they survive my cruelty? Here I was, the perfect little angel for 13 years, and then all of a sudden I’m living la vida Damien from The Omen.
I imagine when aliens land on Planet Earth, the first thing that will happen is they’ll hear “We Found Love” blaring from someone’s car speakers. GREAT introduction to our world.
As soon as the flash went off, everyone raced to the camera to make sure they way they were posing didn’t accentuate their double chins and bad-sides and then insisted on deleting that one and taking another.
From dawn until dusk, the kids of that show just ran around what appeared to be Harlem, or one of Brooklyn’s less artisan cheese shop-filled neighborhoods, with complete impunity.
But now, I am a coffee drinker. Now I can. I can join the cool kids at trendy coffeehouses. I can start listening to Elliott Smith and Ingrid Michaelson. Perhaps date a graphic designer. The possibilities excite me. ?