How To Sleep On The New York City Subway
Your journey will not begin until you swipe your Metrocard and enter the system. Stall as long as possible above ground. Remember, once you’re in the system, you won’t come out.
A Perfect Circle: How Pizza Can Save Our Country
In these turbulent times, we Americans need a unifying force to guide our country into the future. We’ve tried Democrats. We’ve experimented with Republicans. We need a new solution. Something drastic. For the challenges of today’s society, I propose we turn to pizza.
Thanos’ OKCupid Profile
Hopefully, once I murder every living thing in existence, the female manifestation of Death might finally show me some affection. I’m also thinking about going back to grad school to get my PhD.
This Summer Will Be Different
No more baby-oiled skin. No more sprinklers. No more hopscotch, no jump rope, no dampened, oversized beach towels slung over the backseats of cars. More worry over bodies in swimsuits and what’s see-through and what’s padded and what’s you never conceived of in summers past.
