But that shaved-headed girl is always inside, looking out, knowing that our identity is a haircut away from being taken.
I also miss the bizarre world of Myspace celebrity. Back in the day, you could get a Myspace profile and garner such a strong following that it would result in a record deal or reality TV show, a la Jeffree Star and Tila Tequila.
Great exes will be rewarded by being on the home page, and if you can’t find the person you are dating in the top 1000, you may have a problem.
I mean, let’s be honest, no one’s going to look at a brown haired white guy walking down the street in a floor-length mink coat, double-breasted lavender suit, velvet mocassins, and cane, and be like, “Who is that guy?”
Do you know the idea of marriage makes me feel claustrophobic? Do you know that when I say “yes,” I want to be absolutely sure? Do you realize there’s no guarantee that will happen?