If she spells “conscious” as “conches” or “embarrass” as “embaress,” she’s blown it, and by it, I mean the opportunity to date a person who writes about huffing poop on the internet. Once I see three or so misspelled words, I read the rest of the profile in a Tommy Pickles voice.
Gentlemen: Are you tired of man-babies and bros cramping your style? Want to prove to the world that there are still a few of you out there, changing the game?
Who, that you sat around with smoking weed, watching Conan and eating Oreo cookies, will become successful — famous even? Who will fade away never to be heard from again?
When dining at a fast food joint, ask for a water cup, and then fill it with Sprite. You may be obeying your thirst, but you damn sure ain’t abiding by the law.