Your instinct is to feel bad for my cat, but seriously, don’t. She’ll be fine. She just has to swallow some vitamins everyday — the one to feel bad for is me, because I’m the one that’s gotta make her do it.
A man punched his girlfriend in the face after spotting a photo of an unknown man on her cellphone — which turned out to be a picture of Mitt Romney. Newt Gingrich has since released a statement saying she wasn’t his girlfriend.
Anytime I eat after 4 a.m., it’s predicated upon the excuse of “YOLO.” There should be a sandwich at the deli just named “YOLO.” “I’ll take the YOLO to go and, no, I prefer not to talk about it.”
The state requires gun sales to be processed through a licensed dealer with a background check, forces handgun purchasers to obtain a license and bans all assault weapons. Even if Colorado had all of California’s gun laws, the Aurora shooting would not have simply been averted.
“Because don’t make me come out there, that’s why.”