How To Give Your Cat A Pill
Your instinct is to feel bad for my cat, but seriously, don’t. She’ll be fine. She just has to swallow some vitamins everyday — the one to feel bad for is me, because I’m the one that’s gotta make her do it.
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Brian Donovan has written for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, Chappelle's Show, CNN, Fox News, Comedy Central, and ... 
Thought Monologue No. 3
A man punched his girlfriend in the face after spotting a photo of an unknown man on her cellphone — which turned out to be a picture of Mitt Romney. Newt Gingrich has since released a statement saying she wasn’t his girlfriend.
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Jonathan San works in television in New York City. He hasn't told his friends he's funny yet. He tweets.
12 Ways I’ve Used #YOLO To Justify My Poor Life Decisions
Anytime I eat after 4 a.m., it’s predicated upon the excuse of “YOLO.” There should be a sandwich at the deli just named “YOLO.” “I’ll take the YOLO to go and, no, I prefer not to talk about it.”
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January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer. Her work has appeared on Facebook, ... 
The Impotence Of Gun Control
The state requires gun sales to be processed through a licensed dealer with a background check, forces handgun purchasers to obtain a license and bans all assault weapons. Even if Colorado had all of California’s gun laws, the Aurora shooting would not have simply been averted.
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Arvind writes articles, essays and short stories, mostly about the dumb things he's done. His work has appeared on ... 
Reasons Why I Wish You Would Step Back From That Ledge, My Friend
“Because don’t make me come out there, that’s why.”
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Oliver has a MFA in fiction from a very expensive college, but has never published any fiction. He has written for ... 
