Thought Catalog
April 12, 2017

This Is What’s Underneath The ‘Cool Girl’ Exterior

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What is the issue?
Brooke Cagle

The elusive “cool” girl… Every girl wants to be her.

Here is the list of cons on being the cool girl:

  • She’s everyone’s favorite girl
  • She says EXACTLY what she’s SUPPOSE to say
  • She’s every guy’s dream girl (she pretending, pluhhhheasse!)
  • She’s predictable
  • She says she’s upfront about things (as if!)
  • She acts like a dude
  • She’s always one of the boys
  • She secretly just wants to be treated like a girl
  • She swears she can’t find someone to be with
  • She secretly wants your boyfriend (Yup! I said it)
  • She knows a million guys and somehow they are ALL her bffs
  • She dresses like a slut in front of her guy friends (“Does this shirt make my boobs look big?”)
  • She secretly doesn’t like her guy friends’ girlfriends because “She’s nothing like me!”
  • She swears no other girl is like her (Yeah, no wants to be a poser!)
  • She only roots for her guy friends’ sport teams
  • She calls herself a “team player”
  • She doesn’t talk about her feelings
  • She pretends she doesn’t know what feelings are in front of her guy friends
  • She secretly annoys all her guy friends but they are trying to be gentlemen so they don’t say anything too harsh to her face
  • She doesn’t bring up her hook ups or shares how clingy she is (I wonder why?!?)
  • She’s believes that everyone likes her better as the “cool” girl

You don’t want to be EVERYONE’S favorite girl. Be likable sure, mostly approachable and things will go swimmingly. Being everyone’s favorite girl also means that you have to put up with appearances and you have to actually please everyone you come in contact with. Contrary to belief the “cool” girl front is one of the toughest acts to follow. Underneath the cool girl appeal is probably a girl who found herself out of a clique or figured out that if she expressed less of herself and became what everyone wanted her to be. She would gravitate towards more people.

But I also think there may be something to this cool girl and her way of thinking. Instead of being a people pleaser, you’re learning about others really quickly. Instead of adapting to the things you learn about people, try helping others get to know you more. When it comes to you being a big cheerleader, why not cheer for yourself! When you say that you wish that more girls were like you, don’t. Just don’t. “No one is you and that is your power”- Dr. Seuss

Find ways to express how you feel with your friends. Figure out how you can be close enough to tell another human being how you truly feel. Don’t be bottled up and don’t think that another girl can’t help either. It’s possible for anybody to be a great listener, find someone to listen to you. Don’t knock other girls just because she’s “different”. You might actually learn a thing or two about her and potentially make yourself better if envy doesn’t get in the way.

Most of the Gen Y culture is focused on what’s on the outside, so find ways to look inward. Cultivate a better you to showcase! Stop being predictable, don’t give everyone what they want. Gotta show ’em who you are! You’ll attract what you’ll put out there and find that you’re not for everyone and everyone is not for you. And guess what? It’s perfectly okay. TC mark