It sounds funny how a former non-believer like me is writing about that one supernatural being I used to criticize – God. Growing up, I always had the idea that God is a creation of the mind, God is just a traditional belief – a culture that cannot be taken away from people’s mind because it has been strongly passed from one generation to the next. I get used to solving my problems without praying, without asking for any divine intervention, spiritual support or anything related to it. I was always on my own.
I had been a non-believer since I was 9 years old. My mom never failed to do her best to set a good example by going to church every Sunday, by praying novenas and rosary every week and giving me Bible story books as birthday and Christmas gifts.
When I was younger, I thought that God is a man-made idea created by people to stop asking difficult questions, because when your answer leads to God’s will, then, the conversation ends. I was that hard headed child whose heart is pure.
As time goes by, I started to develop twisted values. I set my own rules, I do things on my own, I have been so grounded with the idea that I can achieve everything I want without God. I was easily pressured by my peers and I became so comfortable with the thought that I need them more than my family and relatives.
I was living in a world surrounded by people who doesn’t really care about me but we call each other “friends”. We were living in an unrealistic world where we don’t care about anything, but in reality, we all needed saving.
After all, heaven has its own way of knocking on our doors, of making us feel that no matter how we refuse the existence of God, time will eventually tell you how the world exudes beauty and gives hope to the hopeless through the Lord. Life has its own way of making you feel that magic does exist, that God works wonders and that He never fails to embrace you no matter how many times you push him away. He is the only one who never leaves even if we back off, we fall down and lost our way.
After 15 years of being a lost soul, I finally realized that God has a purpose why everything that happened to me was part of his plan to teach me valuable lessons in life and that I should treasure each and every day with a happy heart. God was working things out for those years I was lost for me to find myself now.
God gave me challenges to make me braver. He gave me situations that I thought was the end but turns out to be just another mystery for me to solve. At the end of each darkness and failure, I have experienced is a ray of light pointing to his direction. God put me in difficult situations to make me realize that I should make wiser decisions in life, to be careful, to feel blessed and to outrage every storm that I may encounter along the way as I keep on searching for my purpose in life. He shows us the dark to appreciate the light. He makes us experience weakness for us to treasure strength.
He challenges our beings to prove to us that we are more than what we thought we are – we are precious, unique and loveable in every single way. God wants us to know that we are his seeds who gracefully grows into beautiful flowers beneath changing weathers and storm.
In the midst of our baffled existence, our drastic battle to embrace our individuality, our desperate desires to find love, God will make a way to lift our drowning self.
Indeed, things happen for a reason and there is a perfect time for everything. Have faith. God is real and his timing is always perfect.
God never leaves and He only makes us stronger.