Thought Catalog
March 20, 2017

Thank The People Who Have Hurt You Because They Are Your Greatest Teachers

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What is the issue?
Brooke Cagle

Nothing ever goes away until we learn what we need to from it.

It comes back time and again, the further away you run. It comes back in the same types of problems in different places, the same kinds of people in different faces. It haunts us through unhealed wounds of old memories, and the hidden parts of ourselves that we are escaping from. It reflects itself in repetitive life patterns and behaviors.

If you struggle with fear of loss, you will continue to face abandonment. If you fear rejection, you will attract people who do not respect or appreciate your value. If you fear commitment and emotional vulnerability, your heart will keep breaking open until it learns to love. If you fear losing control, you will keep facing circumstances that are uncontrollable. If you fear death, you will be constantly reminded about the futility of attachment and the impermanence of everything.

These are our worst fears, which come disguised as our wildest desires. They are our weaknesses, our faults and flaws. They are the skeletons in our past and the anxieties of our future. They are the suppressed and repressed subconscious that must be brought to light in our consciousness. They are the curtains of amnesia that you have to pull apart to discover your true self and get in touch with your soul.

Everyone we meet and connect with is here to teach us something important about ourselves. They are here to weed our gardens, to clear all the damage and the debris, and to forge a pathway through the chaos.

They are not here to change us because we cannot apologize for who we are. They are here to transform us into who we are meant to be. They are here to fix us by loving us and leaving us. They are here to give us the freedom to transcend the ego and heal ourselves.

The ones who cannot love us back are those that remind us that we are worthy of love. They show us all the insecure parts of ourselves that we must embrace. The ones that give us the most pain are here to shine the light on everything that is holding us back. The ones that make us suffer the most come into our lives to enlighten us about letting go of what does not serve our higher purpose.

The ones that abuse us are here as living examples of what we should resist the temptation to become, because then we would be just like them. The ones that hurt us are here to tear apart our ego, and make us feel so desperate and out of control that we finally learn to surrender to the force of a divine will.

The purpose of any relationship is to introduce you to your spiritual master. It is to show you the meaning of true humility and what is getting in the way of your progress and personal growth.

Your successes are not your own, your failures are not your own, your body is not your own, and your mind is not your own. They are part of a universal natural intelligence that is much bigger than you and me. They belong to a divine force that honors the harmonious interconnectedness of all beings.

The most difficult life lessons hold up mirrors that awaken in us depth and maturity through self-awareness. They hone our intuitive intelligence and instill a strong sense of integrity. They teach us emotional resilience, mental strength, compassion and courage.

Forgive the people who have hurt you, because they are your greatest teachers. Be grateful to them for destroying and then renewing your faith in humanity.

Thank them for bringing you closer to yourself, and bringing you back to God. TC mark