Nicole Trilivas

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The first time I got drunk and threw up was the first time I was abroad: I was in Prague, and I was 17. I lied and told the people I was with that I had been drunk before, but I hadn’t and I overdid it. I very clearly remember puking, and thinking to myself, “Well, this is stupid.”

I thought he was lying, but over the next few days the privilege and special treatment that surrounded him revealed it to be the truth. Plus, you know, he was addressed as “your highness” and traveled through public areas with a security squad.

Buddha never said: “Live. Laugh. Love.” And I’m pretty sure “You are beautiful like a rainbow” isn’t a Swedish proverb. Worse still is when you swear you’ve heard it before, and you’re like, “Wait, isn’t that from The Crow?”