Thought Catalog
April 20, 2017

You Don’t Know Who Your Girlfriend Truly Is Until She’s Done These 8 Things

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God & Man

1. She lets you see her bare.

If you’ve seen her in her barest form, meaning no makeup, no concealer, no mascara, no shiny plumping lip gloss, no frills and lacy underwear, no trendy choker necklace or shiny diamond stud earrings, when she’s just herself, and has no accessory or mask to hide behind, she’s lowering a superficial wall that she only puts up for everyone else. She brings down that wall for you, to let you in because she trusts that you’re worth it, that you won’t judge her, you’ll accept her. Because when she lets you see her without all the add-ons she trusts and hopes that you’ll appreciate the foundation of what is always there. She trusts you’ll love her for who she really is.

2. She tells you about her passions and her dreams.

And when she does she can’t stop talking. She’ll go on and on about the things that matter to her, the things she truly cares about. When you hear her thoughts before she filters them, she’s showing you who she truly is, and her dreams and aspirations are something she never puts through a filter. You’ll know she’s showing you her true self when she doesn’t muddle down her dreams to make you feel more comfortable.

3. She tells you about her fears.

She doesn’t just let you see the side of her that’s hopeful and aspiring, she lets you see the side of her that’s scared, the side of her that’s afraid of failing, afraid of heartbreak, afraid of loss, afraid of fears that might not always be rational. Whether they’re rational or not, her fears are very much a part of who she is, and you don’t truly know her until you know the things that truly scare her.

4. She vents to you.

Venting isn’t attractive, it’s not enticing, or sexy, or happy and uplifting in any way. It’s ugly, it’s frantic, it’s quite frankly really annoying, but she does it to you because she’s human, and she can’t keep that toxic air bottled up within her forever. She only vents the toxins to people she cares about because she knows (or hopes) they won’t leave her or walk away when she does. If she vents to you, she’s showing you a side of who she really is, the side of her that’s frustrated and fed-up, the side of her that isn’t put-together and perfect, the side of her that may be a bit over-dramatic. She’s showing you that she won’t always be rainbows and sunshine, sometimes she’ll be hailstorms and tornados.

5. She tells you about her past.

Who she was before she met you is different from the person she is now, and if that person isn’t someone she’s particularly proud of, she’s letting you know a part of her that is in the past because she’s kept it there. It takes courage to let someone see the parts of you that you’d rather keep hidden, but she doesn’t hide the person she used to be because she wants you to know all of her.

6. She cries in front of you (about something that has nothing to do with you).

When she’s showing you who she truly is, she doesn’t cry about you, she cries to you. She cries about whatever is making her upset, be it family, friends, or her job. Her tears are her vulnerability in its most physical form, and she’s letting you see them.

7. She embarrasses herself in front of you.

A part of who she truly is, is the part of her that happens accidentally, and the part of her that’s slightly mortified after that happens. Whatever embarrassing moments she’s had with you, when she has them, that’s her. That’s a part of who she is.

8. She brings you around the ones she loves.

She is completely herself when she’s around the people she’s most comfortable with. She is herself around the people she knows won’t judge her for doing so. She can laugh as loud as she wants to around them, she can be weird and quirky without a worry in the world of what they’ll think, because they love her and she loves them, and when she brings you around them she’s being her genuine, whole self. TC mark

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