Thought Catalog
April 18, 2017

If You Haven’t Found Your Forever Person, Here’s Why You Should Consider Dating Your Opposite

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What is the issue?
Brandon Woelfel

You open your mind to completely new experiences.

You do things you wouldn’t imagine yourself doing in a million years, you gain new ideas, new perspectives, you open your mind completely almost without even realizing, and they have everything to do with it. Falling in love with your opposite makes you see the world in a different way. You never thought you’d drive a bulldozer until they showed you how, you never thought you’d find a science documentary about the universe interesting until you watched it with them, you never thought you’d factor logic into your decision making until they came around, but you did, and you did all of these things that you normally would never do because of them, and that’s a very good thing.

You push each other’s boundaries.

You become more and more afraid of leaving your comfort zone the less you try to actually venture outside of it, but when you fall in love with your opposite, your comfort zone suddenly has an easy exit. You both enjoy different things, things that you each aren’t used to doing, and when you try doing them for each other you realize you’re much more capable of trying than you ever thought. This doesn’t mean that you’ll always thoroughly enjoy each other’s interests and make them your own, it means that you become comfortable trying things that normally make you uncomfortable, and it’s good to push those boundaries.

You have enough time for yourself

Having different interests means you won’t always want to participate in them together. When you date your opposite, neither of you are offended when the other doesn’t want to constantly indulge in your hobbies. You allow one another to enjoy your interests without each other, and you begin to understand that you really don’t have to do EVERYTHING TOGETHER. You not only have enough time for yourself, but you learn how to accept that others want time for themselves as well, and you learn not to take it personally. Dating your opposite helps you realize that just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to give up who you are as an individual.

You become more accepting.

Dating your opposite means you quickly learn that not everyone thinks the same way you do. You learn to consider differing opinions rather than refute them, you hear them, you listen to them, and you don’t look at them as an argument you have to win. When you fall in love with your opposite you accept that everyone approaches issues differently, and you become a more accepting person because of it.

You learn that real love exceeds types and labels

You are more than a type, and so is your opposite. A type doesn’t define who you are nor does it define who you love. Whether you consider yourself an introvert, a nerd, an artist, or any other label you and others use to describe yourself, these types are simply one trait, one word for one quality of the person that makes you, you, and there’s much more to you than being an introvert, or a nerd, or an artist.

You are multi-faceted, and while there may be one word that describes the majority of who you are, there’s other bits and pieces in there that deserve to be mentioned, that deserve to be discovered. And many times your opposite will be the one to discover them, to make you discover them within yourself. When you fall in love with your opposite you realize there’s much more to you than a label others persuaded you to think belonged to you. TC mark