Thought Catalog
January 25, 2017

It’s Okay To Not Feel Beautiful

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It’s okay to not feel beautiful. It’s okay to wake up in the morning look in the mirror, and not particularly enjoy whoever’s staring back at you. Because you’re not seeing yourself for who you truly are. The only thing that mirror reflects is your exterior, the skin that covers your flesh, the bones that shield the organs that let you breathe, think, and love. The mirror’s only reflecting the shell of that, the shell of all that other important stuff within you, the beautiful little things that the mirror can’t tell you to remind yourself exist. The things you can’t make people see, but the things that you can make them feel.

Because people can’t see the warmth of your heart, they feel it.

People can’t see your kindness in the color of your hair or the the inches on your waist line. People don’t see your brilliant mind and creativity in the gap between your thighs or the crevice of your cleavage. They can’t see everything that’s wonderful about you from looking at you once, and that’s what makes your beauty different, that’s what makes you different from everybody else.

Because on the days you tell yourself you’re anything but beautiful, on the days you wish there was a gap between your thighs or a larger crevice between your cleavage, you need to remember that your real beauty is found nowhere even remotely close to those things. Your real beauty is deeper, and maybe that’s why you sometimes feel like you can’t find it. The beauty you’re looking for is hiding where it’s most important, and it’s waiting for you to realize that, it’s waiting for you to realize what real beauty is. It’s waiting for you to realize that the people who can see this particular kind of beauty, your beauty, are the only people who truly know you, the only people who really even matter. Because these people are never as hard on you as you are on yourself.

So know that it’s okay to look in the mirror and feel like shit. It’s okay to feel ugly when you’ve got zits on your forehead. It’s okay to feel fat when you’re PMSing and just want every type of food that’s ‘bad’ for you. It’s okay to grab the cellulite on your ass and wish it wasn’t there, because whether you wish it gone or not, your true beauty remains, because guess what? Your true beauty isn’t in your ass, it’s not in your clear skin, it’s not in your bloated period belly, it’s not in any of those things or the lack thereof. And I can’t tell you where it is because that’s what you have to discover. That’s what you need to figure out.

Because I don’t know what wakes you up in the morning, I don’t know what motivates you to start each day. I don’t know what ignites you, or the passions that move you, but I know if you have them, you are beautiful. Your passions are beautiful.

I don’t know how your selflessness shines, or how you help others simply because you can and not because you want to make yourself feel better, but I know if you do, you are beautiful. Your generosity is beautiful.

I don’t know where your courage comes from, I don’t know what makes you jump even when you’re scared to fall, or what sways you to take risks that others wouldn’t dare to dream of, but I know that if you do, you are beautiful. Your courage is beautiful.

I don’t know what makes your vulnerability float to the surface, or how you roll up your sleeves to reveal the emotions worn on your skin. I don’t know what causes you to proclaim your feelings that others are so afraid of, but I know that if you do, you are beautiful. Your vulnerability is beautiful. Your emotions and ability to feel are beautiful.

It’s okay to not feel beautiful, but try to remind yourself where that beauty’s hiding. Beauty won’t always be found staring back at you in that mirror. TC mark