Thought Catalog
January 10, 2017

13 Men Talk About Why They Didn’t Take Their Almost Relationship To The Next Level (And What They’re Looking For Instead)

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@Jeff.Crain
@Jeff.Crain

1. “She didn’t seem like the type of girl who wanted something serious. She’d go out every weekend, get wasted to the point of ending the night with her head in a toilet, and a relationship just seemed way out of reach. I want a girl who I can see myself being committed to, not one that I have to convince myself is worth committing to.” —Peter, 25

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2. “We were physically attracted to each other, no question about that, but we were both on the same page when we knew that’s basically the only attraction we had. There was no chemistry, or intriguing conversations, it was just sex, and we both knew we weren’t interested in anything else.” —Christopher, 26

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3. “She was waaaay too high maintenance for me. She was a fun girl to take out to dinner, and to go to fancy work parties with, but she just wasn’t someone I could be in a serious relationship with. I like a girl who can go out to breakfast with me the next morning by just getting out of bed and throwing on a t-shirt, not a girl who spends 2 hours in the mirror just to get a waffle at the diner down the street.” —Lukas, 26

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4. “There was nothing about her that made me say, ‘Wow, this girl is special.’ You might think that’s picky, but I want to be with someone who makes me think, there’s no other girl in the world like her.” —Ken, 24

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5. “I don’t even know what an ‘almost relationship’ is, but if I don’t fully commit to a girl, it’s either because of timing, whether I’m really busy with life or my career, or whatever thing that isn’t a romantic relationship is consuming my attention, or it’s because we aren’t right for each other. Chemistry is this magic thing that makes having a relationship not only easy, but desirable.” —James, 27

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6. “I’m not really a relationship guy, so if there is a girl out there who’s gonna make me have one, she’s gotta be perfect.” —Cory, 25

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7. “It’s pretty simple, a serious relationship is just something I’m not looking for right now. Even if I came across a drop dead gorgeous girl with a brilliant personality, the stage I’m at right now, I wouldn’t be able to realize what she’s worth. It really has nothing to do with the girl and everything to do with me.” —Alec, 27

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8. “I’ve been crushed by girls I loved one too many times. It’s going to be a long time until I take that risk again.” —Michael, 29

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9. “I’ve had my fair share of almost relationships, and I think if you’re both aware of what’s going on there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them. If you make it known that this is something that will never turn into an actual relationship then no harm done, but if you toy with the girl’s emotions and make her feel like maybe you’ll eventually date her, that’s just wrong. I always tell her what I want.” —Garrett, 28

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10. “Almost relationships are tricky because they’re more serious than a one night stand, but not serious enough to make you want to be with only one person. The last girl I had an almost relationship with I didn’t fully commit to because there was something missing. I don’t know exactly what, but I feel like I’ll know if she’s a girl I should settle down with.” —Mark, 27

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11. “You always hear girls talk about how they don’t want to settle, well that’s exactly why the girls I have almost relationships with are only almosts, because if I were to take it further with them, I would be settling.” —Vince, 25

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12. “I want a relationship that I definitely want to be in, if it’s an almost, it’s an uncertainty, it’s a maybe. In my opinion, that’s not a relationship worth starting.” —Steve, 27

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13. “It’s about both people, it’s not just what one person wants over the other. She wants him, but he doesn’t want her, or he wants her but she doesn’t want him, it’s about what you both want, and if that doesn’t match up then, move on, and find someone who wants the same things. That’s the whole story of all my almost relationships.” —Ben, 28 TC mark