1. They’ve walked in on you doing something you would ONLY do when you’re alone. Whether its plucking hairs from your chin in the bathroom mirror, or dipping carrots in peanut butter while watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey, they’ve seen you do things you definitely didn’t intend for them to see.
2. They’ve lost something that’s important to you, and you forgave them. When you ask them to put your ID and credit cards in their pocket, and they lose both, and you consequently can’t get into the bar with your friends because of it, yes, you become very angry, but the next morning you still love them.
3. They’ve smelled your dirty laundry to see if it’s dirty or clean, and it was dirty. When your favorite shirt is in your hamper and you really want to wear it because you think it smells just fine, you ask them for a second opinion. “Does this smell dirty to you?” They sniff away, and then they realize what they just did was actually kind of disgusting.
4. They’ve seen you at your worst, and love you enough to take care of you in the midst of it. They’re there for you with a warm cup of soup while suffering from delirium with 104 degree fever, or to hold your hair back when you’ve had one too many tequila shots and need to sleep with your head in the toilet, or even when you’re a raging bitch on your period and just need to eat chocolate and cry. They’ve seen you sick, drunk, and PMS-y, and they love you through it all.
5. You’ve stunk up their bathroom with your bodily functions. Everybody poops. Everybody.
6. They pop your zits more often than you do. When either of you have a pimple, it will be popped. Gross, but true.
7. They’ve picked something out of your nose for you. You never have to worry about a hanging booger when they’re around, they’ve got you covered. They’re not embarrassed to tell you when an unidentifiable green thing is hanging from your nose, and they’re comfortable enough to pick it out for you too.
8. They know your menstrual cycle better than you do. You don’t even need a period calendar, they basically do that job for you.
9. You’ve had times when you’re forced to be creative with contraception. You’re both trying to avoid the same thing, and you’re not embarrassed of avoiding it in whatever way necessary, let your imagination fill in the blanks.
10. You’ve (ashamedly) nicknamed their genitalia. Enough said.
11. You’ve seen all of their embarrassing childhood photos, and heard their embarrassing childhood stories You’ve seen the weird photo of him in a diaper and ugly Christmas sweater, you’ve heard the story about how he thought babies were born from women’s feet, and you’ve experienced his family members talking about his awkward teen years when he was convinced he was The Real Slim Shady. You love the person they are now, and you’re entertained by the stories of the person they once were.
12. They accept your weird habits, and actually sometimes enjoy them. The habits that you don’t even realize you’re doing, they notice, and whether they’re annoyed by them or not, they just accept them as a part of who you are.
13. You both know exactly which celebrity you’d each sleep with in a hypothetical situation. You’re comfortable enough to tell him that you dream of sleeping with Matt Damon while he orgasms to your name in a Boston accent, just like you know he’d love to sleep with Angelina Jolie in her Lara Croft ensemble, long hair braid included.
14. You’ve insulted each other accidentally by being brutally honest. You’re comfortable enough to tell them the truth, even if it hurts, whether it’s accidental or not.
15. You’ve compared how much money it would take each of you to sleep with someone you’re disgusted by. The old lady who lives above you that smells like a combination of her cat’s litter box and cigarettes, you know exactly how much money it would take for him to sleep with her (350 k) because you both love to create hypothetical situations and compare who is more disgusting.
16. You’ve revealed very weird, embarrassing, and sometimes creepy things about each other during games of would you rather. Like if you’d rather cry every time you spoke or fart loudly every time you laugh.
17. You both have accidentally mentioned how you could see yourself together forever. Whether they’ve talked about what you’d look like in a wedding dress or if your kid would be born with their nose, one clear sign you’ve found your forever person is when you each have let it slip that you think they’re your forever person.