October 18, 2016

It’s Not You, Or Him—You’re Not Right For Each Other

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@barlama.vama
@barlama.vama

When you think you’re the reason he never called you back, because you said too much and did too little. When you’re wondering if you were even worth the explanation because it’s the one thing you wanted that he never gave you, remind yourself of this.

Whatever you’re worrying about, whether it’s if your hair isn’t long enough, your style not edgy enough, your jokes not clever enough, know that you are. You are enough. Your hair is just fine, your clothes don’t need changing, and your humor is solely yours. Because if you change all of these things in efforts to find someone who loves you, you’re setting yourself up to find a person who wants someone you’re trying to be and not the person you actually are.

Everything about you is yours, and when you feel like you can’t find someone who loves you for simply being you, when you’re exhausted from the amount of times you’ve invested your efforts into people who choose to leave, know that it was their decision. They chose to leave, and you chose to choose them, and that choice was the wrong one. But each time you choose someone who’s wrong for you, it’s nothing about you that is wrong. It’s not your personality, or your hair, or your humor, it’s your decisions, and that’s okay.

Because everyone will tell you that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it is, but these mistakes are more painful than the rest, and even if you do learn from them like everyone else says you will, you still hurt, and you still blame yourself for the hurt that you’re feeling. And while blame is usually something you put on other people to relieve yourself, in this case you’re doing just the opposite. Because when it comes to love blame is something we put on ourselves, whether we’re the ones leaving or the one being left.

“It’s not you, it’s me,” sounds all too familiar, and whether you’re attempting to ease the initial impact that heartbreak may bring, or whether you’re suffering from it, this overused phrase provides no comfort or consolation, and it sure as hell doesn’t provide any closure.

So why blame? Why does it have to be you or him, or me, or her?

Take the little romantic mishaps you’ve experienced for what they are, two people who made the wrong decisions on each other, because when you find someone who’s right for you, any decision you make on one another will be the the right one. TC mark

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