Thought Catalog
October 11, 2016

11 Men Talk About The Girl They Thought They Were Going To Marry, And Why They Didn’t

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1. “She was the first girl I loved, and I think that’s exactly why I didn’t marry her. Tons of people fall in love multiple times before finding the girl they decide to be with forever.” —Nate, 27

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2. “When I was young and in a relationship, I didn’t think about things in terms of ‘for the rest of my life.’ When I thought about where I wanted to live, and have a career, and all that sorta stuff it wasn’t ‘for the rest of my life,’ it was thought about in terms of that moment. I wasn’t sure about decisions relating to the ‘rest of my life,’ and I slowly realized I wasn’t sure about who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and if I wasn’t sure I thought it was only fair to let her know. Obviously she wasn’t so happy with that. She said she knew. I didn’t. That was the difference that ultimately ended it.” —Greg, 32

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3. “Timing had a lot to do with it. We started ‘seeing each other’ in college, it wasn’t truly a relationship because we’d both hook up with other people, but the other people we hooked up with were just hookups. We both knew that we had something more for each other than we did for anyone else. After graduation she was ready to settle down when I wasn’t, like full-blown commitment. And being the young idiot I was I thought she’d be there for me when I was ready. She wasn’t. Now that I’m ready for a real relationship I find myself thinking a lot about her.” —Richie, 26

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4. “I’ve known her basically all my life. Our parents were close friends and even they would always joke about how one day the two of us would get married. We dated (which both of our parents loved) and we got pretty serious. I thought about it a lot, not gonna lie, but I think the fact that I knew her my entire life made me feel like I was settling or taking the easy way out, like I was too lazy/incapable of finding a girl out in the real world, and had to settle for my childhood crush instead. It just didn’t feel right to me.” —Anthony, 28

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5. “Before meeting her I never really wanted a relationship, mainly because I never met a girl I wanted to have a relationship with. She was the girl who changed that. She made me want to settle down, and I did, with her, but obviously things didn’t stay that way. Nothing terrible happened, there was no cheating, or huge falling out, we just kinda realized we weren’t right for each other.” —Daniel, 28

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6. “I knew I wanted to marry her within the first few months of dating her. It wasn’t necessarily about any specific traits or qualities, it was about the way she made me feel. Unfortunately the universe conspired against me, and her work asked her to relocate to China. I decided I couldn’t go with her. And that’s exactly why we didn’t end up together. If circumstances were different, 100% I could see myself married to her.” —Theo, 27

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7. “I thought I was going to marry her before she slept with my brother. That was a big deal breaker.” —Beau, 27

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8. “We moved the relationship along really fast, but it was because our initial chemistry was undeniable. I think marriage is more than initial chemistry though, and we both figured that out with time. What we thought was ‘love at first sight’ was just puppy love combined with the craving to have someone to spend the rest of our lives with, and we did want that, but when we stopped rushing things, time allowed us to realize it wasn’t with each other.” —Nico, 27

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9. “She had a Fulbright Scholarship, spent a year in France basically trying to find a cure for cancer. We survived the long-distance, but when she came home it was just different. She changed, I changed, the relationship changed. I wanted to marry the girl who left for France, but not the girl who came back.” —Brandon, 27

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10. “I thought I was going to marry my high-school sweetheart. We both didn’t think college would be much of an obstacle, but it was. Trust went to shit, and distance made us crazy. And if we couldn’t get through that then we definitely wouldn’t survive marriage.” —Trey, 26

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11. “I still want to marry her. I still think about her and what my life would be like if I were still with her, but I fucked up. And I don’t blame her for not giving me a second chance, she’s smart, and she knows what she deserves. That’s why I fell in love with her.” —Mark, 29 TC mark

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