Who Has It Worse: Women Or Men? Or Those People Who Died In That Plane Crash?

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Early today, right around the time news broke of 295 people dying in a plane crash in Ukraine, Hok Leahcim (which is either an anti-semitic slur or a pen name, I’m still not sure) published a list of Reddit grievances by men who have been hurt fat women’s comments about their bodies.

Whoa, hold up. Did I just say fat women? My apologies. What I meant to say was women who happen to be fat. Or, I mean, women of weight, rather? No wait, that’s wrong, too. Is it girthly-abled bepussied individuals? Sorry, I woke up late today and I haven’t been updated on the preferred nomenclature. All I know is that they’re just as good (if not gooder) than women who aren’t fat, and they’re beautiful and deserving of respect. After all, overweight American women live extremely difficult lives. Almost as difficult as all those people that just died in that plane crash.

Anyhow, I’m not really sure what the point of the list was. Was the message that overweight women are more critical of men’s bodies than attractive women (er, I mean, not-fat women)? Is the conceit that men have it just as bad as women when it comes to body shaming?

According to the comments, most gleaned the latter. In fact, some went as far as saying men have it WORSE than women when it comes to the very serious issue of objectification in the media. It is, after all, extremely difficult to be a person with a body in America. Some might say it’s even worse than living in a war zone or plummeting 10,000 feet to your fiery death. But, who has it worse, really? Men or women? Debate ensued. Sure these Reddit men were criticized, but do you know how hard it is to be a woman? A commenter named “Seriously” writes:

“Does anyone else find it ironic that all these men are so offended by someone criticizing their bodies? Have you even looked into the daily life of a woman? Try being judged, objectified, and criticized by men who are much older and/or unattractive than you.”

Hmm, seriously indeed, Seriously. The daily life of a woman sounds terrible; to be judged and criticized by men that you not only deem less attractive than yourself, but who are also old!? Gross! Don’t those gross old unattractive men know you aren’t supposed to judge people? Hopefully now those men see what a heavy (but perfectly healthy) burden it is to be an American woman.

In contrast, a brave man named Eric shows us how much harder men actually have it:

“Women have makeup that can hide how they actually look. Girdles to suck in their fat, and the massive support of the feminist [movement] turning our society into one that overly sympathizes with women.”

And Eric isn’t wrong; women do have makeup and it’s not fair that men aren’t allowed to wear makeup or wear fat sucking devices like women. If only we had true equality, where we all lived as circus clowns wearing constricting corsets, taking turns fainting and extinguishing gender roles with seltzer and pie.

So really, who has it worse? Is it American men or American women? Or is it those people that died in that plane crash? Luckily, another brave young woman named Hannah steps in and offers a conciliatory and moderate perspective:

“There are insane expectations of both men and women. I don’t know why it has to be a war for who has it worse.”

Prophetic. Maybe we could just recognize that both men AND women in America live extremely difficult lives; what with people not finding them attractive all of the time and so forth. She’s absolutely right; why are we fighting this war? And make no mistake – it is a war. Similar to the war in Eastern Ukraine that, today, claimed almost 300 lives – 23 of which we’re Americans that probably welcomed death with open arms considering they lived under the immense pressure of insane expectations and their own, beautiful fat rolls.

Hark, the young Hannah speaks truth. Be you man or woman, if you’re a young American, you most certainly face an existential pain that few outside of our shitty little world could possibly understand. Dare to be fat. Dare to be short. Dare to embrace some minor physical flaw as a badge of victimhood, and make its contrived acceptance the cornerstone of your narcissism. You’ve got a hard road ahead of you, and no one understands your pain – especially not any of those people that died in that plane crash. Life is piss.