Anyone with an iPhone or an Android knows that technology is not always that smart, especially when you’re using autocorrect, which translates everything into jabberwocky. No matter what time of day it is, you perpetually sound like a drunken idiot — and possibly a sex criminal. (For some reason, autocorrect really loves the word “anal.”)

Here are 39 “ducking” hilarious misadventures that show you aren’t alone in your texting fails. No one else can text correctly either.

1.

2.

3.

4.