April 15, 2013

30 Glorious Justin Bieber Quotes

Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com
Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com

This weekend, Justin Bieber visited Amsterdam’s Anne Frank house as part of his campaign to conquer the world while being one of the most self-involved people in it. Always the PR whiz, Bieber memorialized Frank by writing in her guestbook at the end of his visit. The Biebs wrote: “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.”

This isn’t the first time Bieber has raised eyebrows for his pithy statements and memorable bon mots. In interviews, Bieber has shown a stunning level of self-aggrandizement, blended together with a totally earnest cluelessness, awkward candidness, captain obviousness and a strangely messianic subtext. You aren’t Werner Herzog, kid. You make autotuned club ballads for preteens to masturbate to. Get it together.

Collected from his interviews, ever-hilarious Twitter account, autobiography and rabid Tumblr following, these are 30 quotes that prove you should always say never to Justin Bieber.

1. “I really don’t believe in abortion. It’s like killing a baby.”

2. “Not trying to be arrogant, but if I walked down the street and a girl saw me, she might take a look back because maybe I’m good-looking, right?”

3. “My first date has been…mythologized as ‘Bieber’s Dating Disaster.’ I took her to a buffet restaurant. Yes, I wore a white shirt. Yes, I got spaghetti.”

4. “Young people in the business have grown up and made the wrong decisions, or bad decisions, and haven’t been good role models. To be someone that people look up to is important to me.”

5. “I have dumped a girl over the phone. It’s terrible, isn’t it? We got into an argument during a phone call, so I basically said, ‘I don’t wanna be with you anymore,’ and she cried. I saw her after that and it was a bit awkward.”

6. “I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”

7. “When you are following me on Twitter, you are literally following my life. I think that’s pretty cool.”

8. “I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do… He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”

9. “Singers aren’t supposed to have dairy before a show, but we all know I’m a rule breaker.”

10. “It’s kind of hard to balance school and work sometimes. But sometimes, like, if I’m going to the White House and I’m in there doing a tour and stuff, that’s like school.”

11. “So remember, this is Bieber’s world. You’re just living in it. Bieber or die.”

12. “I want my world to be fun. No parents, no rules, no nothing. Like, no one can stop me. No one can stop me.”

13. On Kim Kardashian: “I think she’s cute. And, no, she’s not too old for me. Above 40 is a little too old for me.”

14. “My fans are really loud but they are great. I’ve never liked someone so much to go up and scream that loud.”

15. To paparazzi: “What the fuck did you say? What did you say? I’ll beat the fuck out of you. I don’t care who you are.”

16. “Don’t say I’m not talented. If you haven’t noticed, I wasn’t made. I was found.”

17. “When life knocks you down to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.”

18. “The day I was born, March 1, 1994, Celine Dion was solid at #1 with ‘The Power of Love.’ Not a bad start to your life.”

19. “Sunday comes after Saturday? Weird.”

20. “If I can do just one-tenth of the good that Michael Jackson did for others, I can really make a difference in this world.”

21. “April is a fun month.”

22. “My fans are sexy. Yes they are. They can’t help themselves. It is just how they do.”

23. Interviewer: “What keeps you grounded?” Bieber: “Gravity.” Interviewer: “What’s up, Justin?” Bieber: “The sky, man.”

24. “As hard as I’ve tried, I don’t know how not to be adorable.”

25. “A girl could be sitting on her computer, trying to get noticed by me, and not knowing she’s the future Mrs. Justin Bieber.”

26. “Whenever I’m sick, my doctor jokes that I have Bieber Fever.”

27. “My fans are like my glasses. Without them I’d be blurry.”

28. “Those Beliebers who haven’t met me yet are the special ones.”

29. “Haters call me ‘gay,’ but their girlfriends want me more than them.”

30. “Haters are just confused admirers.” TC mark