There Are Only 2 Things You Should Focus On During Your Breakup

We’ve all been through this, right?

You break up.

Suddenly, your ex’s every ex becomes a threat (even though you’re not really in the picture any more) and every other potential woman to cross his path becomes one, too.

If you’re trapped by social media, you look at all his accounts. And you won’t stop there. You’ll look at the photos he’s liked and overanalyze every comment (though sometimes they’re quite obvious) he’s made on that really pretty girl’s #selfie. #Funnnnn. #Not.

Sometimes you don’t even have to be looking through his stuff, and it just pops up. Like what?! Thanks, friend of a friend who tagged a friend.

And you wonder all these incredibly useless things. Is she a better match? Do they like the same things? Do they ever really talk? Is he seriously interested?

Here’s a little bit of insight: You know it doesn’t matter, right?

I’m not trying to dismiss feelings (hell, we’re really talking about my feelings here), but thinking about all this nonsense isn’t going to help anyone.

Instead, let’s focus on two things.

1. He chose you.
2. He chose to leave you.

Yes, he thought you were the bee’s knees. And he wanted to be with you. He didn’t think any of the girls he was with before (or the girls whose pictures he’s now commenting on) were worth his time. It was all you. Take that – it’s pretty awesome.

And then yes, he chose to leave you. Not so awesome. Not necessarily without any regard for your feelings, but definitely not putting you first. Don’t make excuses for him. He made his choice.

But just because he chose to leave you doesn’t mean he never wanted to be with you. Don’t forget #1. With a breakup or separation or distance or whatever, we go back and doubt everything. Every kiss, every hold, every “I love you.” And there’s no reason to do so.

Choosing you and choosing to leave you were two completely separate decisions, in different situations.

Accept both. And stop worrying so much about where he’s going after this.