September 12, 2016

22 Generic Female Indian Names And What They Say About Her Personality

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Ayyappa Giri
Ayyappa Giri

Tara

Almost always an English major, almost always a little overweight. Product of two snooty parents and more than one snooty live-in maid. Usually loses virginity in college, a little too willingly.

Smita / Smitha

A real tightass. If she is Smitha, she wears flowers in her hair right through University. Forget losing virginity, her boyfriend is not even allowed to hold hands till they are married. Wear white saree and lots of jewellery to bed in wedding night.

Kavita

Usually dark skinned, usually liberal, without fail the biggest slut in her college. Girls named Kavita usually help cricket team captains lose their virginity in college gyms and spend a lot of time protesting against governments. Parents support them till their fortieth birthday, after that usually parents die.

Deepika

Athletic, good looking, help mothers in kitchen and debate intelligently. They remain virgins through college, mostly because guys are too scared to f**k them.

Sanjana / Riaana / Rheeya

Even parents can’t tell what their names mean. Usually belong to a household where the father does the dishes at night and mother participates in televised debates. Girls with these names usually dream of becoming TV anchors but end up working in call centres with a fake American accents.

Jyoti

Bright, enthusiastic. Uses lot of hand gestures while talking. Tells favourite movie is “Breakfast at Tiffany’s “but in reality it is “Basic instinct” mostly because she daydreams about facing a police interrogation commando.

Latha

From South India, loves literature, loves beer and a good fuck. Hard to keep up with her voraciousness in bed. About 25 % of men with penile fractures have lovers named Latha.

Anita

Big boned, social studies major. Usually remains single through life and lives with more than one pet. Owns at least three dildos with fresh carrots in Fridge when she feels a little old school.

Barkha

Overweight with lot of attitude. Usually majors in journalism or gender studies in college and spends lot of time discovering the hidden sexism in songs, short stories and puppets. Likes a blue collar type guy for lay, invariably pays for sex.

Sarika

Hearbreakingly beautiful and knows it. Sets high standards in life and often surpasses them. Settles with nuclear physicists or captains of national cricket team or national award winning playwrights. Never has sex without planning. Flaunts a youthful waistline even in her forties. Last simple carbohydrate consumed was when mobile phones were not heard of.

Reena

Good looking in a girl next door way, guys love her because she is gullible. Drops out of college to support boyfriend’s ambition to become fashion model. Needless to say the boyfriend never amounts to anything.

Nikita

Short hair, thin, can wear a training bra beneath her wedding dress. Often works in advertising industry and writes a screenplay before age forty.

Mohini

Most common name of girls who grow up to become dancers in bars. Often take a size 36 D and bigger. Often look at their ta-tas in mirror and compare themselves to Madhuri Dixit.

Reeta

Bengali, a little overweight but carries it well. Follows Football well enough to name Arsenal’s five best midfielders apart from Thierry Henry. Likes Rock and Roll, has read Janice Joplin’s autopsy report on some sleazy website. Can tell good weed from bad by the texture. Loves anal sex.

Neha / Sneha / Prachi

Nerd, grew up in a household with too many brothers who play football and join armed forces. Can have a two hour phone chat with girlfriend about waxing her intimates. Boyfriend gets to kiss and fool around a bit but often has to leave with blue balls.

Sonia

Cold, aloof and condescending. She refers to her husband as ‘the man’ and her child as ‘ the offspring’. Has been charting her ovulation cycle since age twenty. Husband often has to make appointment through email to have sex.

Seema

Big breasts, big rear. Wears tight clothes but is pretty shy. Works in IT companies, dreams up of a fling while abroad, experiments with female colleagues. TC mark

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