I’m Sorry My Anxiety Didn’t Come With A Warning Label

I’m sorry that I didn’t come with the warning label- ‘BEWARE. Anxiety and Depression. Can act crazy.’ It’s who I am. I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m a lot to handle. I’m sorry that my anxiety causes me to say I’m sorry. I don’t want you to run from me when I get out of sorts.

I’m sorry for not being calm and collected. My head is jumbled full of thoughts and I might think of something else related to that same text I sent you 15 minutes ago. And then an hour, maybe two, later, another thought related to the two before. The ones you never responded to.

I get that you’re busy. We all are. We all have lives. I’m sorry that I sometimes want you to acknowledge the text I sent. Or even answer the simplest question. I’m sorry. I want the communication and I love it. I’m sorry that you only decide to talk to me when I text first. I’m sorry that I want to talk to you so much. You’re on my mind; I’m sorry that I’m not on yours.

I’m sorry that I say sorry all the time. I don’t want to overload you, but I want to talk to you. To get to know you. You say that you want to get to know me. But do you really? I understand that you are going through a lot and I want you to know that I’m sorry that you are.

I’m sorry for trying. Trying to talk to you, get to know you. For trying to spend time with you. For trying to show you that I’m a good person and someone worth your time. I’m sorry if I’m not. I’m sorry that I put a lot of time and effort into trying to talk to you. I just don’t know what else to do. I put effort into getting to know you. Have you?

Most of all, I’m sorry that you probably won’t see me the way I see you. I enjoy being around you and talking to you. I see you as someone worthy of dating. Someone I want to get to know. To me, you are attractive. You have passion for things and I can watch and listen to you light up with those things. I’m sorry for not seeing the signs that I’m just too much. I’m sorry that you don’t want to tell me that.

I’m sorry for everything that I have no reason to be sorry for. I am always sorry. But I do have to thank you in the end. Thank you for showing me that I don’t have to be sorry for everything. Thank you for showing me that sometimes silence is the answer and, as much as people don’t want to hear it, it holds a lot of truth. Thank you for showing me that I can get exhausted from trying so hard. So thank you, for everything. I’m not going to be sorry for things I can’t control anymore. Because, in the end, no one should apologize for who they are.