15 Things I Wish I Could Tell You If We Ever Meet Again

1. You should have kept your distance. You know how fucked up I am. You were and still are and will be in trouble. Look now!

2. I should have not crossed the line and took the risk. That was plan A; I failed.

3. I won’t delete all the memories of you and me. The conversations, the shared pictures, the long messages, the I love yous and I miss yous, the late night rants, the tagged names on the comment sections, the little jokes, and the random stupid fights. I won’t delete it – no, not yet, not now.

4. I am still reading the thousands of messages we had. You knew before all of this — that I started reading it from the very start. Little did you know that I am still reading it. Shame on me for still laughing at the very random things we said and talked about. As of the moment, I still have 5 months of everyday conversations left; you are gone now.

5. I wish you held me like you did before. Talking about never giving up. Talking about waiting. Talking about contentment. And just happiness. I wish you knew that every time I was pushing you away, I just wanted to be held a little tighter. Because you know I have this habit of slipping when things go crazy.

6. I am still jealous of all the girls you have loved, are close to, and are friends with you. I still envy them because they get a chance to be with you. Oops, sorry, I am the one to blame; I forgot I never let you be with me too.

7. I wish I told that I loved you. I wish I called you in the middle of the night to tell you that. 

8. I am ready. I wanted to tell you that I am ready and afraid at the same time. Sorry, it took me so long to know what exactly what I want.

9. I still hope to see you and be with you even for once. I have long imagined how the two of us will go on our first date. I have long imagined how I will look, and how I will greet you in person for the very first time after long years.

10. I’m practicing your name so I could say it to your face. Believe me, I still don’t know how to say it out loud.

11. You are the only person from the past yet I still want to be with you in the future.

12. I will write about you. I will write about us. I will write a better ending. I will write everything. I will start writing now.

13. Thank you. Thank you for the privilege to be your girl. I have never felt so much love and affection than what you have given me. Thank you for sticking around long enough, and thank you for the memories.

14. Forget me but I will never ever forget you.

15. Love. I chose you. Love, I’ll still choose you.