You Were Scared, But You Trusted Him

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He said he wouldn’t disappear. He said it would be the last thing he would do. You were in love enough to trust him. You were scared. But yes you trusted him.

Day by day, you see relationships fail. You see your friends cry. You see that long distance relationships are one of the hardest to bear. But you took the risk. You plunged bravely. You didn’t think about the sleepless nights. You refused to consider the endless worries. You didn’t mind the coldness of being apart. Yes, you were scared. But you trusted him.

You didn’t mind the time zone. You didn’t complain about staying late for his calls. You didn’t think twice about pausing work to hear his voice. You didn’t realize how hard it is to keep the communication going. You were scared. But you trusted him.

And then you discovered, you can’t tell if he’s upset. You can’t really know how his day went by. You can’t keep track on him. You noticed all those sweet pointless arguments. You get jealous in small little things. You second guess the foundation of the relationship. Yes you got very scared. But you trusted him.

You noticed the lengthy calls became short hellos. The good morning texts came late and good night kisses were lessened. You started to flood him with messages. Then you stay awake, hoping and waiting for that one single reply. You gave excuses to his unavailability. You were scared. But still, you trusted him.

You kept positive. The excitement of being with him kept you going. You say that what you have is more than physical. You notice that you both grow independently. You tell yourself, if we can survive the distance, we can survive everything. And maybe, just maybe, the relationship can survive after all. And you kept the faith going. You were scared. But you trusted him.

You breathe the fact that you can’t be with anyone else. You see those gorgeous men, but you can’t really see them. The urge of being with him is something you can’t stop. So you learned to be patient. You tolerate the pain of uncertainty. You endure the hurt of disappointments. You know you need to trust him to be loyal. So you kept the faith. You were scared. But you trusted him.

Yes, no one said it would be easy. But then you think, no one said it would be so damn hard either. You realized long distance relationship isn’t a relationship after all. It’s just a promise of one. You trusted the potential of a beautiful magic. You trusted the illusion of faraway. You were scared, but you wanted the warmth of waking up next to him, of being with him. So yes, you trusted him, and you will keep on trusting him.