Thought Catalog
February 17, 2017

Why A Love That Comes Back Is Never Really Worth It

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Aricka Lewis
Aricka Lewis

Do you remember the feeling your favorite book gave you? It made you feel excited; it made you laugh and cry and when you finished and everything felt like magic. Time passed and you still loved the text. You talked for hours about it and you even said that you would read it again. You did, but even though it was your favorite book, you didn’t feel the magic of the first time because you already knew the story and the way it was going to end.

That happens when old love comes back.

You think that this time things will be different, and you tell to yourself every day that he has changed.

But as much as you want to believe it, you know that he will be the same at the end of the night.

You decided to leave him because he didn’t give you what you wanted. You wanted magic, love, endless talks, flowers on a Sunday morning and cheese croissants on a Saturday night. You wanted random texts, inside jokes and someone that supported your dreams. But he wasn’t that guy.

Months passed and he said that he changed. He appears on a random Sunday with six bright sunflowers because he knows how much you love those flowers. Every day he texts you, just to let you know that he is thinking about you and offers to take you to watch that movie that you couldn’t stop talking about. He begs for a second chance and you say yes, because now he is being everything that you’ve always wanted and everything that you deserve.

But one month later, you realize that he is the same. He is the love that you decided to leave.

Yeah, sounds romantic, the idea of a relationship that goes on and off and then both of you realize that you just can’t live without each other. Look at Carrie and Mr. Big from Sex and The City, after six seasons of joy and heartache, they end up getting married and living their happily ever after.

It’s true that love conquers all and that thought alone is powerful, but also, love is being able to love yourself enough to decide what is right for you to leave.

When you realize how amazing, fun and strong you are – that’s when you must also realize that the love that came back is never really worthy. It’s not worthy because it means going back to the same: to the same pain, uncertainty and fears.

Do you really need that on your life again? Do you really need all those hours waiting for answers and for a text? Do you really need all those fights and hurtful words?

I don’t think so.

Your heart and your mind are worth more than a love that wants to come back.

Letting go will be hard and painful, but it will be rewarding, because one day you will feel free to love unconditionally and without fear. You will feel free to be yourself and to ask for what you want and need.

Someday you will have a love that won’t need to come back, because he will never leave.

Just be patient. He will appear – someday, somehow. TC mark