Will You Marry Me?
It’s not a get-down-on-one-knee-in-public proposition, but I think it still counts as a public proposition, no? Out there for all the world to see, open to well wishes and ridicule and all?
Regardless of unconventional format, though, I’m genuinely asking: will you?
Just so you know, I’m not asking because I’ve got this dream wedding fantasy with swans and confetti in mind (though why not, we might as well go all out). I’ve actually always been terrified of getting married because I’ve seen so many people I love go through painful divorces and also the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do was be attached to someone, but you’re different. You’ve always been different. I think we could make this work.
Everything feels like something with you, does that make sense?
I don’t feel like I’m pretending. I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time. I can sit in a café with you all day and watch the world happen and never feel bored because your conversation is enough.
I want that conversation forever.
I don’t know if we’ll ever have kids or a house but we’ll have adventures. We might never buy Tupperware but there’s no one else I’d rather go tubing with. We’ll go to rock shows and street festivals and try fried scorpion and opium milkshakes, go out in the world and do everything or just sit at home and do nothing, our hands in each other’s hair, and both will be blissful. Brushing our teeth together will be blissful.
It won’t always be easy but we’ll always be laughing. Or crying sometimes, I don’t know, but either way we’ll always be feeling, and that’s huge because plenty of married couples eventually get to the point where they forget to feel. And I know we’re not perfect and things get weird but we take care of each other and we’re each other’s home and really, what else is there? What other kind of magical love?
I don’t believe in “the one” or fate or destiny but you are The One for me because I choose you every single day.
I want to share my life with you because I trust you and you fascinate me. You love me more than anyone ever has and sometimes it’s overwhelming but I feel so lucky. When we make love I don’t stare down at myself from the ceiling making notes, I’m in it with you 100% and it’s not like the movies. I don’t know what else to say.
I guess that’s it.
So, what do you think? Will you?
A | A | A
If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”