10 Brutally Honest Things I Want To Tell My Ex Boyfriend After I’ve Been Drinking

I truly hope none of you lovely, intelligent female creatures out there can relate to this, but if you do I hope you can find the humor in your particular situation and continue to grow for yourself.

1. I want to tell you that I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, especially about how you COMPLETELY FUCKED ME OVER. (once I got over the whole broken hearted stage)

2. I would also like to let you know that because of you I will probably never EVER date a “pretty boy” again. Thanks for ruining this basic bitches dream.

3. Hey, remember that time you asked me if you were getting fat this last winter? When all you were doing was sitting around with your “best friend” smoking pot, eating junk food and collecting unemployment… I lied when I said no.

4. I think about the most recent shopping trip I took you on, and how everything you got was for the summer… I hope you think of me every time one of your young girlfriends enjoys your summer wardrobe. Please tell them I said thanks!

5. I would also like to tell you as far as morals go, you should probably try and find some. Doing what you did is NOT okay.

6. Neither is the emotional/verbal abuse you put me through, I hope you date a butch girl who kicks the shit out of you next time you try some shit like that.

7. I hope you get that little issue with sex figured out. My mom’s a nurse; she said not being able to keep it up isn’t normal at the ripe age of 24. I would get that checked out.

8. I faked (almost) every orgasm you ever “gave” me.

9. I know I should feel bad about writing this but, you cheated, abused me, left me when you found out I was pregnant, left me in the ER by MYSELF when I miscarried our child, treating me like shit on top of all that, using me to pay your bills that you neglected to pay, using my car to get to and from wherever you needed, using me overall, and ruining the last few holidays.

10. But most of all, I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for making me a stronger person. For showing me that I can whole heartedly love, even the wrong person. That I can forgive and continue to love without holding a grudge. Thank you for trying to warp my mind through verbal abuse to make me feel like less of a human, because of that I realized my own strength and beauty. To the person who took me for all you thought I was worth, thank you for making me realize my own.