8 Things I Hate Seeing In Girls’ Tinder Profiles (And 3 Things I Love)

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I don’t want to see your dog, especially if it’s a small one. Little dogs are small commitments that take up large resources – mainly, time. I don’t want to have to go home early so you can let your little rat with fur out. You having a little dog tells me that you don’t have children, and you wanted a substitute for a child rather than having the patience to wait until you were prepared to have a child.

A little dog can potentially mean you have a big heart, or some hidden issues. If you have a large dog, that’s a better sign.

I don’t want to see a picture of you jumping, or sitting on a glass pane over a city somewhere. That does not, ‘show that you are whimsical and fun,’ like you think it does — it shows me you are unoriginal.

I don’t want to see a picture that isn’t just of you. That tells me that you loved the way you looked in that ensemble shot so much that you were willing to allow who you were to be obscured. That tells me that you are trying to show what you feel is your best side, rather than your real side – which by itself is a great thing. However when you are in an ensemble picture, I see insecurity – an inability to stand on your own.

I don’t want to see you kissing someone, wasted, or yelling. Those are all things that people do to get attention. No one likes someone that acts for attention, rather than enjoyment.

I don’t want to see your headshot. Successful actors don’t spread their headshots around, because it is their talent that makes them great actors, not their looks (though looks certainly help). If you are an actor, great! Yet I don’t want to be involved with anyone that wants to rest on their laurels; so becoming great based upon your looks falls in that category. The late Phillip Seymour Hoffman comes to mind. Showing me your headshot makes me think you display a visage to others; a perfect photo session were your makeup was perfect and the lighting was altered, rather than the real you. A picture from a wedding as a bridesmaid also falls into this category – you only look like that once in a blue moon, so why false advertise?

I don’t want to see a hard to view or blurry picture. If you are under the age of 40 and can’t use a computer or a smartphone then dating shouldn’t be your top priority, improving your skills should be.

I do want to see a picture of you exercising, in workout clothes, or doing any activity outdoors.

Keep all of your pictures of you very recent – there is no point in posting pictures of yourself when you used to be fat / skinny / blonde or a redhead if you aren’t now.

If you don’t exercise or take care of yourself, you should probably start, because people that look great now only get worse with time if they don’t take care of themselves.

I do want to see pictures of you traveling, or places you have traveled.

I do want to see pictures of you eating, drinking, and relaxing.

I do believe, that I’ve pretty much excluded 90% of the girls on Tinder based upon these criteria.