Thought Catalog
August 17, 2013

50 Unintentional Quotes From Children That Will Send Shivers Down Your Spine

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1. D49A1D852468799CAC08

"Make it slower mommy, I need to observe." image - EvelynGiggles
“Make it slower mommy, I need to observe.”
image – EvelynGiggles

“I’m watching you make my sandwich so that when you die I will know how to do it.”

2. Magnus_Maximus

"When I get out, I swear I'm going to eat you." image - Joanna Bourne
“When I get out, I swear I’m going to eat you.”
image – Joanna Bourne

My sons were about 2 and 4 when their pet goldfish died. I attempted to use the situation as an opportunity to discuss death and mortality. After I finished my explanation, my four year looked up at me with his big, blue eyes and asked, “Mommy, someday, will you die?” My heart filled with love and a little sadness, knowing this was one of those pivotal moments when the first bit of childhood innocence was lost,and I told him yes, someday, mommy will die.

“Good,” he said with a totally deadpan expression, and walked out of the room.

Later when we were about to flush the fish, he asked if we could eat him instead. I said no, we don’t eat pets because we love them, and he said, “When you die, I’m going to eat you.”

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3. ronearc

My daughter was only around 18 months old when she uttered her first, full sentence.

She loved to lift the air conditioning grate in the floor of our bedroom and stuff her toys down there. Well, there were some sharp edges in there, so my wife didn’t want her sticking her hand in the duct, so she screwed down the edges of the grate, so our daughter couldn’t lift it up any longer.

Well, my daughter has this plastic, toy hammer, and she’s trying to get it into the vent, but it won’t come up. So she takes the hammer, pounds on the grate some, nada. Then she tries to pry the grate up, no go.

At this point, my wife and I kind of chuckled, and our daughter heard us. So she glares with this furious look on her face, throws the hammer at the wall, and almost shouts, “I don’t have to take this shit any more.”

4. alfredfjones

"Yes.... Come to me." image - timtak
“Yes…. Come to me.”
image – timtak

3-year-old Brother:”If God looks after people, who looks after God?” Mom: “Well, I don’t know…” 5 minutes later Brother: “I think the Japanese.”

5. ___mads

I’m the child in this story, but let me tell you about when I was four.

I’m named after my maternal grandmother who died about two years before I was born, and it’s worth mentioning that I was the first grandchild born after her death. I was always very curious about her as a young child… one day my mom laid down for a nap and when she woke up, i was standing at her bedside and looking down on her. Apparently I said “Do you remember when I was the mommy, and you were the baby?”

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