50 Questions Every Woman Secretly Asks Herself Sometimes

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1. Did my boss/colleague/classmate/friend just check me out?

2. Why didn’t my boss/colleague/classmate/friend just check me out?

3. Can I call myself a feminist if I’m wearing Spanx?

4. Why are women’s clothes so unforgiving?

5. Did that guy who walked by just undress me with his eyes?

6. Why didn’t that guy who walked by just undress me with his eyes?

7. Is it un-feminist to admit that I kind of like being catcalled sometimes?

8. Is he really going to judge me if I sleep with him on the first date?

9. Does it matter if anyone thinks I’m a slut?

10. Isn’t it better to know if you’re sexually compatible sooner rather than later?

11. How many platonic hangout sessions does a “lady” have to withstand before she can confirm penis size?

12. Is everyone going to think this dress is too short/bright/floral/trendy/tacky/cheap/conservative/revealing/etc.?

13. Is this top too low cut for this date/party/networking session/family dinner/concert/play/wedding etc.?

14. Does my boss/colleague/classmate/friend secretly want to fuck me?

15. Why doesn’t my boss/colleague/classmate/friend secretly want to fuck me?

16. Did that dude actually just flash me his dick in public?

17. Why do men think their dicks are so great?

18. Does every guy out there lead with his penis instead of his brain?

19. Should I tell him my actual “number” or let him win this round?

20. Should I fake it or be honest that I didn’t actually orgasm?

21. If I let him come on my face will he love me forever?

22. If I talk dirty to him will he finally just orgasm?

23. How long do I have to pretend that I’m open to anal sex?

24. How did threesomes manage to inch their way onto the regular sex menu?

25. How much longer before he locates my clitoris?

26. Should I tell him what to do or give him a little longer to figure things out?

27. Seriously, why do they call it a ‘blow job’ if all you do is suck?

28. Do grownup men really care about pubic hair? What’s so great about a bald vagina anyway?

29. Doesn’t all this hair we invest so much time and money in removing have a biological purpose?

30. Why is it disproportionately easier to consume 100 calories than to burn them?

31. Are my boobs perky enough?

32. Do I have ‘good’ nipples?

33. Does my vagina look/smell/taste/feel ‘right’?

34. Is it weird that I’m so wet right now?

35. Am I going to get loose down there if I don’t start doing Kegels daily?

36. Should I just give my boyfriend head so he’ll be nice to me today?

37. What does he tell his friends about our sex life?

38. Am I good enough in bed?

39. Should I be seducing him more often?

40. If he puts his finger in my butt, do I have to return the favor?

41. Is he judging me because my skirt’s too short/bright/floral/trendy/tacky/cheap/conservative/revealing/etc.?

42. Does he actually think I’m going to bone him just because I’m being flirty?

43. Is he thinking about me naked right now?

44. Why isn’t he thinking about me naked right now?

45. Is it wrong to use my body to get what I want?

46. Why is it so much damn harder for women than men to lose five pounds?

47. Does anyone really go to the gym for health reasons and not out of vanity?

48. When do I get to stop caring about what I look like?

49. Do these jeans make my ass look good enough to justify the price tag?

50. If I had a penis would people take me more seriously?