Thought Catalog
September 29, 2015

19 Times Instagram’s ‘Daddy Issues’ Proved She’s A Boss Ass Bitch

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What is the issue?
Social media superstar Violet Benson (aka Daddy Issues) has amassed an impressive online following thanks to her special blend of candor, wit, and unfettered enthusiasm for pizza, wine, and dick. Her Instagram aesthetic, while rough, is as carefully curated and well thought out as the voice behind it. Below are some highlights from her feed that prove just how awesomely unapologetic (and hilarious) she is.

1. When she illustrated the only appropriate reaction to a dick pic.

2. And wisely advised that if he forgets to text you back, you can always forget how to give him head.

3. When she reassured us it’s totally okay to throw a fit when you’re on your period.

4. Or when a dude is testing the fuck out of you.

5. And reminded us that life’s too short not to get blasted midday sometimes.

6. Because it’s usually way better to overdrink than overthink.

7. When she emphasized that bows always come before bros, from now until grandmahood.

8. And that true female friendship can be measured in a girl’s willingness to let you sext a guy on her behalf.

9. When she parodied ridiculous self-help tips and got real about what “doing one thing a day that scares you” really means.

10. When she perfectly encapsulated the hard-body-versus-good-food dilemma plaguing all women.

11. And then suggested the best alcohol solution for motivating yourself to do push-ups.

12. Not that it matters, since yoga pants are way more conducive to drinking comfortably than doing the downward dog anyway.

13. When she recommended “sharting” to repel unwanted male attention.

14. And admitted it’s been so long since she’s had sex that her vagina’s a desert.

15. Maybe because she’s a self proclaimed alcoholic psychopath?

16. But it doesn’t matter because she has this 11-foot cat shaped couch.

17. And she can always marry herself.

18. So she can stay home, eat carbs, and fart in peace.

19. And dream of becoming a proper housewife who bakes shit (or at least has donuts delivered) one day.

TC mark

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