May 6, 2015

12 Women Reveal The One Shocking Thing That Always Makes Them Want To Masturbate

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Brandon Baker
Brandon Baker

1. “The only thing that always makes me want to masturbate is the sight of a beautiful woman—someone I don’t know and will never see again—clothed, but braless, with erect nipples poking through her top. I’ll take the first possible opportunity post nipple spotting to tuck away—in a bathroom stall at work, if necessary—so I can touch my own nipples, which inevitably leads to full-on masturbation.”

— Crystal, 30

beetlejuice

2. “You know those rare moments when you say the exact same thing as someone else at the exact same time? Without fail, I want to masturbate whenever that happens. It must be the energy transfer or something. I always feel this overpowering sense of connectedness that makes me need to get off and since I’m married and I can’t jump the other person, I take care of myself as soon as I can. It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does, it’s the best guilty pleasure.”

— Jodie, 28

beetlejuice

3. “I can’t do sit-ups without going straight home and whipping out my vibrator. I think it’s something about the motion, or maybe the way my spandex shorts rub up against my clitoris. Whatever it is, I can’t work on my abs unless I know there’s space in the day for me to make myself orgasm shortly afterwards.”

— Paula, 25

beetlejuice

4. “After I take a giant shit, I masturbate. I think I feel thinner and sexier after a really satisfying bowel movement. Weird, maybe, but I kind of enjoy knowing that pooping is my trigger since it happens pretty regularly. Gives me something to look forward to.”

— Georgia, 23

beetlejuice

5. “I have a foreplay fixation. Any incredibly sweet public display of affection between lovebirds–at the park or at a restaurant or at a movie theater—makes me want to run home, pull my pants down, and massage myself down there. Since I can’t rely on encountering that kind of thing when I crave a little masturbation spark, I’ve developed a bit of a softcore porn habit. Watching videos doesn’t compare to witnessing authentic flirtation, but I make do when I have to.”

— Naya, 32

beetlejuice

6. “Did you ever read Memoirs of a Geisha? There’s this critical test for the geishas in training: They have to distract a man they pass on the street solely with their eyes. When the main character manages to make a man fall off his bike just by staring at him, she knows she’s prepared for the next level. Since reading that book in college, I’ve been obsessed with eye fucking. When I lock eyes with a hot stranger—on the subway or at the supermarket or at a café—and I manage to engage them in a silent, sensual back and forth, I get so hot and bothered. A good eye-fuck is empowering, and I always want to masturbate right after.”

— Saige, 26

beetlejuice

7. “Professional tennis is the best aphrodisiac. They’re so fit, those guys, but they’re not gigantic, like basketball players or football players. The way they grunt when they hit the ball with as much force as possible is so hot. Whenever the U.S. Open or any other tennis tournament’s airing on TV, it’s high masturbation season for me.”

— Kiana, 24

beetlejuice

8. “I started following Maxim Magazine on Instagram and they tend to post a lot of really sensual, quasi-trashy shots of models. Any time one of those photos pops up in my feed, I get so horny. I think it’s the surprise factor that puts me in masturbation mode. I don’t follow any other accounts like it, so those posts show up between whatever my best friends are posting and they always manage to shock me—in the best way ever. It doesn’t work if I purposefully visit Maxim’s page, though. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

— Denise, 27

beetlejuice

9. “I’ve never been with a woman and I’m not sure I’d ever want to experiment like that, but whenever I witness lesbian sexuality—even on a PG level, like an innocent make out session or handholding between female lovers during a Lifetime movie about closeted moms—a shockingly strong magnetic current draws my hand to my crotch.”

— Hayley, 31

beetlejuice

10. “Tampon commercials are ridiculously effective on me. It’s the idea of sticking something inside me—even a cotton swab—that does the trick, I think. I guess it’s a good thing vibrators aren’t widely advertised. There’s nothing more uncomfortable for me than catching a Tampax commercial at my parents’ house.”

— Kerry, 26

beetlejuice

11. “It’s such a cliché, but I love watching a sweaty ripped guy lift weights shirtless. I’m not into dating muscley guys, but that’s probably why I like catching them at the gym. Even a trace of cut flesh can make me cream my pants. Luckily the gym I go to is in my building, so I can always go straight home when my vagina demands a little love.”

— Jen, 34

beetlejuice

12. “This is new for me, since I hit my mid twenties. If I catch a man by himself (without his spouse or partner around) clearly enjoying fatherhood—smiling while swinging his kids in the air, or just pushing them in a stroller happily—I develop the strongest urge for solo sex. It would make more sense if that type of scene made me want to have actual intercourse, biologically speaking, but no, it makes me want to masturbate. Maybe I’m not meant to have kids?”

— Irene, 25 TC mark

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