May 22, 2013

Stuff I’ve Learned From Being A Total Screw Up

I screw up ALLLLLLL the time. I screw up with relationships and I mess up at work. I get angry and say things I don’t mean to my friends or people I love. I screw up my diets. I screw up cutting back on drinking or smoking. I say I’m going to start going to the gym more and half the time I never do. I can even “screw up” making fun of myself and accidently offend a bunch of people on the internet.

I mess a whole bunch of stuff up and have to start over all the time. You name it, I’ve probably done it. Here’s some things that all my screwing up as taught me:

No one gives a shit. No one cares if you are hungover, no one cares if you are in a bad mood, no one cares if you pulled a muscle taking out the trash and didn’t get to go to the gym for 2 days and you’re cranky and no one cares if you stayed up late and hit snooze 25 times- you still have to show up places on time, do what you’re supposed to do and be where you said you’d be or you’re an asshole.

People will just disappear. One day they will like you and won’t be able to get enough of you and the next they will just be gone and you’ll never hear from them again. It won’t matter if you tell them you miss them or if you say you’re sorry for something- they won’t come back and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it except get over it.

No one can make you happy except yourself. People may make you feel good in lots of different ways, but at the end of the day, you have to be able to sit alone for a while and like the person hanging out with you.

Bitching and complaining without doing anything is really, really pointless. Sure, vent sometimes, but then get over it or do something about it. You had a bad breakup? You hate your job? SUCKS DUDE. This entire planet is made up of people who have been hurt and rejected and sad and angry at some point in time and we all have to learn to deal with it. If you find yourself unable to get over something, people let you pay them money to talk about things and sometimes they give you pills if you need them and there’s not a thing wrong with talking to someone or using medication if you need it.

Be yourself. Pretending to like bands, movies, books, TV shows, boys, girls, cars, sports or anything else just because everyone else is doing it is DUMB. Just be like, “man, that show Game of Thrones sucks.” or “baseball is boring as fuck.” and who gives a shit? If you like blowing on the tuba and playing world of warcraft- go on with your bad self. I promise you that you are a lot happier than anyone who makes fun of you for being you.

Let yourself fall in love again even after you’ve been hurt. Being hurt is just part of it. It sucks and it’s really sad and sometimes you will think it’s easier to just lock yourself up and never go through it again, but being in love is awesome and being a “tough guy” won’t make your life any better or easier.

Life is too short to waste your time with people who aren’t honest or respectful of your feelings. We are all selfish, that’s human nature, but sometimes we go back to people who are just using us. We go back to people who never really ask about us or listen when we have something to say. Maybe it’s a friend who always expects you to be there but never shows up for you. Maybe it’s a guy that you have lots of fun with getting drunk and having sex, but beyond that, he doesn’t really care about you. Learn to walk away from these people after a certain amount of time without change. Some people just don’t deserve to be in your life.

If you mess up, it’s okay. Almost everything you do can be worked out. I promise you that I have done some things that I thought were horrible, and they were, and I thought I’d never forgive myself or get over it, but I did. Some days that’s harder to accept than others, but I know I am okay and that all I have to do is learn from what has happened in my life and be a better person because of it. TC mark

image – Merra