November 27, 2016

How To Avoid The Clinton-Trump Burns In Your Relationship

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What is the issue?

Are you the boastful winner and your boyfriend the sulky loser or vice versa? Are you having every day, never ending, resentful debates that are making you wonder whether the election or your life is a jest? Well, guess what, you’re not the only one suffering from this plight! Relationships are being broken off, or being given ultimatums to, or in the worst case scenarios being screamed into tears everyday just because couples forgot to stick to these wise commandments.

Accept each other’s views

You cannot change yours or your man’s views and opinions. Instead of attacking him and taking your shit to another level, it is always more advisable to accept the reality rather than doing permanent damage. Respect each other’s perspective maybe?

Be subtle

Now when you are aware that both of you do not share a common ground, instead of fueling the fire and throwing a barrage of accusations, you might want to be subtle with your words. You may ask point blank questions as an alternative, but be sure not to sound derogatory.

Ground rules

You can lay some basic rules with your partner about the territories you can touch and the ones which are off-limits while having a political discussion. A good tip- Always take time outs between arguments instead of continuing them for hours. The prolonged hours of anxiety builds up worst reactions than normally expected.

Don’t go to be angry

Make sure that no matter whether it is 2 am or 2 pm, you resolve a conflict rather than sleeping it off. Because chances are that things might get to “Tell him to make his own coffee”, “Ask her to take the dog out for a walk” when you wake up.

Ask yourself if it’s worth it

You need to realize if having polar opposite political views is that big a factor to you, if it is more important than your family, or your kids, or your faiths and beliefs. You have to be clear on these terms and ask clarity from your partner’s point as well. Because, if it’s not worth it, then neither is the need to endure these painful conversations.

Avoid friends who only talk about politics

You’d rather steer clear of anyone who drags you and your partner into a political debate. It’s not going to be a pretty sight when you talk about it with friends, instead might get uglier, considering there would be too many people around encouraging your view points.

Put yourself in their shoes

It is always better to go to roots than fishing out on the surface. Find out the cause of their beliefs, ask what makes them defend or oppose views and try to analyze why he/she is the way he/she is. If you accomplish to understand from where their thoughts are originated, it should be easy peezy from there on.

Remember your partner is not that bad

Or stupid to have opinions which aren’t homogeneous with yours. Make sure it is not the sole criteria of how you start viewing your partner or your relationship. If you do not want to head towards the doom, you have to work on not making your partner feel as if he is a fool for having his own outlooks. You cannot invalidate his feelings as an exchange for boosting up your ego.

Separate your political views

Do not bring in personal accusations or “You did this two years ago”, “You said that last Christmas” from the past. It is not going to help you win the argument instead bring about new things to the surface to fight upon.

Seek therapy

If you feel that things are getting out of control and the relationship is going towards a dead end, it is always better to seek help from someone professional who is neutral towards your beliefs rather than talking to friends and family. After all, not every relationship bumps can be fixed by two people alone and it is completely okay to have differences and have your own ways and paths to fix things. TC mark

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