Thought Catalog
February 17, 2015

5 Things You Should Never Forget To Do When Letting Go Of Something (Or Someone)

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Boyhood
Boyhood

Was there ever a point in your life when you asked yourself if all of this is really worth it? Did you ever tell yourself that it is finally time to let go? Whether it is a thing, a bad habit, a person, or a feeling, have you ever found yourself losing your grip and being on the verge of finally setting them free? That is a pretty tough one. It’s hard to let go. Trust me, I know. Everyone goes through this. And everyone needs to understand that it’s never too easy.

Before we find out how we could finally let go, why are we supposed to let go in the first place? If we’re talking about a person (or people) here, a loved one who recently passed away, a boyfriend who broke up with you last night over the phone, your parents’ divorce, we can say that these kinds of things are inevitable, and that they happen to everyone at some point. It could take some time before we could, but we have to let go. It’s for our own good. Letting go is the only way we could go back to living our lives again. Why do we need to let go of a habit? Well… If it’s not doing you any good, then you need to let go. Biting your nails make them ewwy anyway. Same goes to what you feel. Feelings need to be recognized. You have to know that they’re there to actually know what to do about them. Let’s say you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. What’s the point in trying, Kid?

I am ready to let go of _________ because _________.

You’re ready to let go. Now what? How in the world does someone actually “LET GO”? That’s the tricky part. Everything is up to you. I could tell you straight up to just forget about the person, throw the thing away, or just ditch the feeling. But that would not be too easy, would it? Nothing is ever easy, everyone knows this.

1. Reward yourself.

We all face a heartbreak at some point. I have too. It was difficult, but time heals most wounds, and maybe I was just lucky. The first thing you need to remember is to reward yourself for even the tiniest progress you’re making. I used to be a chronic nail-biting monster. I bit them when I felt happy, sad, angry, anxious, tired, or stressed out. I always had really ugly nails, and I ended getting frustrated all the time because most of my friends had gorgeous nails that were always manicured and were well taken care of. My nails, however, were always bleeding and bitten. It came to a point when I became obsessed with articles that were supposed to help people ditch the habit. It was difficult at first, of course, but friends knew how frustrating it was for me, and they were all there to remind me about it (especially when they see me putting a hand near my mouth.) I never bite my nails anymore because I knew for a fact that it was not healthy at all. The feeling of getting rid of a bad habit is the reward itself actually. Maybe it’s your drinking habit that needs letting go. Once it’s gone, you will feel good and your liver will be eternally grateful.

2. Do it gradually.

You’re ready to let go of Facebook, but you’re just too hooked. Well.. Do it gradually. Letting go is not an overnight thing. I used to be on Facebook twenty-four hours a day. I just couldn’t call it a day without it. There was nothing to do and nothing to see, but I just had to be there. I had to see people’s selfies and what they had for dinner, but it was not fun anymore. One day, I woke up and asked myself “Why the fuck am I letting Facebook do this to me?” It felt like Facebook was the one to blame, but really, who am I kidding here? It was all me. And I just had to do something about it. Of course, like an alcoholic, you cannot take it out of your system just like that. It had to be a gradual thing. And now, Facebook’s just my an old friend I say hi to once in a while.

3. Love yourself.

I know it’s cliché, but really, loving yourself means letting go. And being able to let go means you love yourself enough to find the strength to do so no matter how difficult it is. If you’re stuck loving this guy who does nothing but shoo you away, why are you still around? You deserve someone who sees your worth.

4. Be optimistic, but realistic.

Maybe it’s for the better. Maybe you’re better off without him. Maybe you are a better person now than you have been all your life. All these reasons could make things feel lighter, but do not drown yourself in false hopes and reassurances. No, he will not call you tonight to ask you if you want to get back together. You have to be realistic. Suck it in.

5. Grieve.

I always believed in the saying “You shouldn’t cry over spilled milk.” Well, it’s somewhat true: how can you bring back something gone just by crying over it? You can’t. But yes, you can cry. It’s not wrong to cry. It’s not wrong to grieve. You can take a long break from your normal life, but you have to know when it’s time to stop grieving. Cry when you feel that painful pit in your stomach. Cry when the song that’s playing reminds you of what you lost. Cry when there is the need to, but you need to know when enough is enough. It’s not wrong to grieve, but putting your life to waste is just ridiculous.

Life is beautiful. If you lose something or someone, it does not always need to be painful. Maybe it just happened because you had to see the real meaning of life for yourself. Life is not all fun and happiness. It’s not all sunshine. You have to experience loss and pain to learn how to appreciate even the little things. TC mark

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