I Left My Heart In SF
I LEFT MY HEART IN SF
but I’ve never been in SF. I want to go to SF. When I moved to the States at age 12 we moved to Vallejo. To a trailer park. It was not far from SF but I never made it. I got my first nerf. It was a nerf football. A small dog chewed the ends of it. I understood the need to chew soft spongy things. I did not chew the nerf. I chewed the play dough.
JUMPING THE SPEED BUMPS
I threw the nerf over the speed bumps in the trailer park. I would jump the speed bumps and catch the nerf. I was learning to use my hands rather than my feet.
IN PREPARATION FOR MY CITIZENSHIP
I got a gumball machine. I put a coin in (it was also a secret way to save nickels) and out popped a gumball and a small card with the name of a U.S. president. That way I could memorize the U.S. presidents. I liked the current one at the time. His name was Ronald Regan and he reminded me of my first American hamburger from K-Mart.
It was the heyday of the blue light special. I got my first American hamburger near the blue light special. Near the mothers tearing into clothes. I stayed cool. I ate my hamburger. The hamburger was bigger than any hamburger I have ever eaten. I was very well behaved. I loved the texture.
I wanted to have sex with one of them. I kept hearing my parents say juicy and crab meat in the same sentence. I did not know crab meat. But eventually I developed a need for the crab meat I had never seen. I went to sleep imagining crabs. This is not a metaphor.
were from k-mart. They were snakeskin. But really plastic. Plastic snakeskin. I never got a hat to go with them.
A | A | A
Well the world got the chance to hear about another day of the week this Saturday, as Rebecca Black’s “Saturday” quickly reached over 11 million views in a few days. But how does it compare to her mega smash hit “Friday?”
Tomorrow is my last day at the job I have been at since I graduated from college.
But slowly, surely, you’ll begin to feel the twinges of a fonder, kinder, gentler reminiscence. This is where the whole thing starts to fall apart.
Is anyone else perturbed by the fact that a conglomerate founded by a bodiless Nazi-symapthizer owns just about every beloved character in the history of cinema? Okay, maybe just about every is an exaggeration.