I Left My Heart In SF
I LEFT MY HEART IN SF
but I’ve never been in SF. I want to go to SF. When I moved to the States at age 12 we moved to Vallejo. To a trailer park. It was not far from SF but I never made it. I got my first nerf. It was a nerf football. A small dog chewed the ends of it. I understood the need to chew soft spongy things. I did not chew the nerf. I chewed the play dough.
JUMPING THE SPEED BUMPS
I threw the nerf over the speed bumps in the trailer park. I would jump the speed bumps and catch the nerf. I was learning to use my hands rather than my feet.
IN PREPARATION FOR MY CITIZENSHIP
I got a gumball machine. I put a coin in (it was also a secret way to save nickels) and out popped a gumball and a small card with the name of a U.S. president. That way I could memorize the U.S. presidents. I liked the current one at the time. His name was Ronald Regan and he reminded me of my first American hamburger from K-Mart.
It was the heyday of the blue light special. I got my first American hamburger near the blue light special. Near the mothers tearing into clothes. I stayed cool. I ate my hamburger. The hamburger was bigger than any hamburger I have ever eaten. I was very well behaved. I loved the texture.
I wanted to have sex with one of them. I kept hearing my parents say juicy and crab meat in the same sentence. I did not know crab meat. But eventually I developed a need for the crab meat I had never seen. I went to sleep imagining crabs. This is not a metaphor.
were from k-mart. They were snakeskin. But really plastic. Plastic snakeskin. I never got a hat to go with them.
A | A | A
I wish I could know if she was always like this, or if it slowly came on. I can’t ask her because she doesn’t understand that she has an issue. She is willing to admit it for help, but not willing to admit it to fix it.
When a customer demands sugar-free/ fat-free/ decaf anything and asks for extra of the aforementioned, do not trust them. Ever. Then proceed to take a drink.
11. Hookah Bars were like…really cool.
1. When you’re all excited about your new phone and go to show it to someone and they’re like “Oh, yeah, I’ve had that for, like, three months.” (And then, to add insult to injury, you see a 10-year-old with…