Thought Catalog
March 8, 2017

Sweet Girl, Don’t Let Your Depression Hide You

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What is the issue?
Brooke Cagle

You struggle to smile. Sometimes it even hurts, but you never stop, even when the muscles around your mouth lose their power. But other times, your smile is the only thing that keeps you going, keeps you moving, keeps you smiling. You never give up because you don’t know how to stop giving. You smile for others so you can help them get off the floor even though you still haven’t left it.

You smile for no reason when you gaze out the window because the smallest things in life bring you joy. Whether it be the warmth of the sun on your face or the way a stranger made you feel in the coffee shop. You know how it feels to have a hole eat away inside you, so you never take anything for granted because although the hole some days grow bigger, it will never be as big as your heart.

You find meaning in the emptiest moments, you find happiness in the darkest hours, you see people no matter how many times they try to hide.

You learned how to live differently. You learned to appreciate who you have instead of worrying about the people who didn’t want to keep you. You learned how to stand on your own while everyone around you began grabbing for hands. You learned that real failure is not when you fail but when you stop trying.

And some days, your mind begins messing with you again. It reminds you that there is no reason for anyone to look at you because people only turn their heads to beauty. It convinces you that everyone who broke your heart knew that they wanted something better, someone better, and eventually they found it by leaving you. They realized that letting you go was not a mistake but believing that you were anyone worth pursuing was where they went wrong.

But you fought to shut off the voices and opened your eyes to not be scared of facing your demons. There were times when you thought you lost the war because there was no one to protect you, nothing to shield you, and that’s how you became the greatest warrior. You stopped fighting out of fear and instead, you fought to overcome your fears.

You know how to stay strong for others because no one understands the feeling of being alone, weak and being terrified better than you. You can help them become the best version of themselves because you always see the best in everyone, even when they always see the worst in you. You can help them dream bigger and not be afraid to open their arms to embrace the world that would stop breathing if they were not in it.

The pit in your stomach continuously channelling dangers you know in your gut are not real make you someone worth risking every danger in the world to keep safe. Not because you are weak or vulnerable, but because you are brave to realize you have fears. You are brave for accepting these fears and knowing that there is no shame in admitting your emotions. Because realizing that you are a human who is not perfect, and defining your scars instead of covering them, makes you someone who is flawless and someone who is proud to be who they are.

Don’t let your insecurities hide you because someone out there is hoping you will give yourself the chance to be in the spotlight, that you stopped believing you belong in the shadows.

Although in the dark he can still find you, unless you step under the light, he will never be able to see you. TC mark

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