Thought Catalog
March 17, 2017

36 People Confess The Craziest, Most Stalker-ish Thing They’ve Ever Done To An Ex

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1.

“I drove around in his town until I found his house. And then, for fun every now and then, I would go there and drive by his house a few times, even though it was like an hour from where I lived.”

— Sarah, 34

2.

“I watched him go on a date with someone. He went to the movies. I sat a few seats back and watched them the whole time. I then followed them to a restaurant. I went in and ordered take out. While I was waiting, I went to the ladies room and walked by their table. I said hello and made him believe it was a coincidence that I was there too. It was very creepy but I got to see his new woman.”

— Pam, 5

3.

“I had pictures of her in the nude and various personal sex videos we had made. I would never release them or do anything to actually hurt her… I did, however, send one picture to a specialty sex shop and have a sex toy made to look like hers.”

— Jordan, 32

4.

“I would tap on his window late at night and leave things in the driveway.”

— Kat, 25

5.

“I made a fake Tinder account and found them on there and got him to send me really inappropriate pictures and messages. Then I sent them to his girlfriend.”

— Hannah, 23

6.

“She had randomly given me her email password while we were together, so a little bit after we broke up I was curious if she was dating anyone new and logged into the email and read all her emails with her new girlfriend. I found out she was cheating on the new girlfriend with the girlfriend she had before me, so I emailed the new girlfriend and told her.”

— Jay, 41

7.

“I used to go on his Facebook and change things up without him realizing it was me. He thought something was wrong with Facebook.”

— Jennifer, 44

8.

“The creepiest thing I have ever done to an ex was I sent a box of dead flowers to an ex girlfriend who had broken up with me to go out with someone else.”

— Robert, 60

9.

“I hacked into his Facebook account. While in mid conversation with someone on Facebook chat, I started responding with crazy comments pretending to be him, like saying “I am an a** and a drunk” to this girl he was chatting with. I found it to be hilarious. It took him a bit to figure out what was going on, and he finally figured out it was me in his account and posting as him. It was creepy now that I look back on it, but pretty hilarious too.”

— Elizabeth, 35

10.

“There is something that fur trappers use that is bottled fox urine. We lived in Florida and I dumped it under the spare tire in the trunk of his car and on the carpet under his driver’s seat. The heat and humidity made the smell unbearable and he had to buy a new car because they couldn’t figure out what it was.”

— June, 47

11.

“I saw her out once and followed her from a distance cause I saw her leaving the bar with someone else. I didn’t intend to do anything negative or anything, but kind of couldn’t help myself and looking back on it, that is a pretty creepy thing to do.”

— Mark, 30

12.

“I would drive by his house to see if he was home. I also would send him messages on AIM from different accounts.”

— Tina, 34

13.

“I snuck into his house when he wasn’t there and laxative into his some of his food (ground up, put in coffee grinds, things like that) and hot sauce in his shampoo ….mature, I know!”

— Dee, 51

14.

“I had access to her email account. I saw that she was lightly flirting with someone she works with. I pretended to be her and wrote the guy a message blurting out she wasn’t interested in him. Obviously she figured out soon enough I had sent the message. She changed her password.”

— Paul, 40

15.

“I cyberstalked him on Facebook and Instagram, and I looked at his new girlfriend’s social media accounts and looked if we have overlapping friends.”

— Sarah, 22

16.

“I used to call him from unknown numbers and moan in the phone. I did it for like a month on and off. I can’t believe he never changed his phone number.”

— Jessica, 26

17.

“I faked emails that were from another girl and said she was sending them to me when it was really me making it all up.”

— Gail, 42

18.

“A few weeks after we broke up I saw that he was still logged into his Gmail on my netbook. I looked through emails and apparently he had gotten a job that needed references, and he had sent emails to his friends asking them to pose as references for him because he didn’t actually have the experience he said he did. So I took a screenshot of his emails and sent them anonymously to the recruiter. Maybe he shouldn’t have cheated on me and I wouldn’t have done that, but he lied to me about it for months! I guess it’s comforting to see that he’s a liar in his personal and his professional life, so I’m not an exception to the rule.”

— Kay, 25

19.

“I put pee in his juice, and accessed his Facebook to post his nude photos.”

— Jess, 28

20.

“I went to her job and began to watch her do her work. I wasn’t stalking because I also worked in the building. But I thought it was creepy in that I was obsessed with knowing what she was doing at all hours of the day.”

— Brian, 32

21.

“I caught him cheating so I took pictures and printed them out and posted them all over our little small town. I made sure everyone knew what he did and who with.”

— Sherry, 37

22.

“I tried to steal her dog because we raised him together. I sneaked into the house and tried to grab him but she caught me.”

— Tammy, 21

23.

“I obtained a key to their on campus sorority house and came in one night uninvited to talk to her.”

— Steve, 29

24.

“I once put her toothbrush in the toilet and then back into the bathroom after I found out that she had been cheating on me. We lived in the same dorm so this was easy to pull off.”

— Ryan, 31

25.

“I literally made another Facebook profile and stalked him online because he blocked my profile.”

— Alison, 34

26.

“I became friends with his current girlfriend and convinced her to break up with him.”

— Trish, 39

27.

“When we broke up and I moved out, for spite I took the toilet seat, sink faucets, every door knob, cupboard handle, power cord to electronics, remote batteries, and the labels off of all the canned goods.”

— Bridgette, 36

28.

“I pretended that we didn’t break up. I would call her and text her as if nothing happened for a couple weeks after we broke up. I still told people that we were together; I even tried to get her parents to go along with it. It didn’t work.”

— Rogan, 35

29.

“Put a tape recorder under the bed attached to the phone line to catch him talking about me and/or with his new girlfriend.”

— Kathy, 50

30.

“I bought a box of nails and snuck into his driveway late one night and put them in his tires and sprinkled them all around the driveway.”

— Veronica, 30

31.

“I waited outside her apartment because she was not at home. I tried to open the door and it was unlocked. I went inside and took a look around the house while she was not there and, eventually, I let myself out.”

— Alex, 35

32.

“I continued to watch ‘intimate videos’ we’d made with each other long after we’d broken up. I guess it wasn’t directly creepy, but it felt weird knowing that she probably would not have approved at all and probably didn’t know I even still had them.”

— Jake, 31

33.

“I was checking up on her by going and checking with the cell phone company to see who she was talking to and texting.”

— James, 24

34.

“My ex was actually married and I didn’t know. We had been living together and had a baby before I found out and he moved back in with her. So when he lied about it, when we went to court for child support, I followed him around, taking pictures of everything he was doing, including parking his work vehicle in her back yard. Then after I took him back to court and got a significantly larger amount of child support, I looked both of them up in the court records and then called every bill collector they had judgments for and told them where they both lived and worked.”

— Mandy, 41

35.

“I would stick a pin in an onion and pray that he would get back together with me. I did this every night for a month during a lunar cycle. It didn’t work.”

— Kristina, 34

36.

“I went to her house to see if she was home and I noticed her car keys were in the ignition of her car the doors were open…I thought why not? and I opened the car door and went inside and started the car up. I took it for a joy ride and parked on the side of the road and got out. Then I unzipped my fly, pissed inside her car, then left.”

— Doug, 38 TC mark

Responses courtesy of SafeHome.org’s ‘You Might Be A Stalker If…’ survey.

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