Thought Catalog
May 30, 2017

10 Things I Learned When My 10 Year Relationship Came To An End

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Wenkui Xiao

1. Men will still approach you. Men will still love you. Men will come and go. But friends stay. So, set your priorities straight.
There are these girls that get in a relationship and shut themselves off of everyone else. But, what happens when it’s over? Real friends will hold your hand in sickness, and in health. For better or for worse. Keep in mind that.

2. You can actually do things on your own. Really. And you can honestly do stuff for yourself, by yourself. This is the time to do everything you’ve always wanted, and you’ll feel better doing it, even if it’s not as perfect as you’ve imagined. And guess what.. it could get even better! You can dramatize sleeping alone, in a double bed, or you can enjoy the space. You can go grocery shopping alone, [yes, a man won’t be there to help you… ] but at the end of the day, it will be your grocery shopping. Yes, you did that. On your own.

3. Loneliness is your friend. Don’t be scared to spend time with yourself. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you! Have you ever heard that thing when no one is around? When was the last time you spent some time with your thoughts? How do you feel? Why? What do you want? Talk to you. You may end realizing that you are pretty awesome!

4. You were loved. Maybe unconditionally. Maybe not. Still, you have this strong vibe, this positive experience –however it may have ended. Cherish the happy moments. Learn from the dark ones. You are a wiser woman now. Your real-world CV has grown. Be ready to move on. It’s a promotion.

5. The world doesn’t care whether you’re single or not. Don’t concentrate on the couples surrounding you wherever you are. The world just wants to know if you’re here. Do you dare to live?

6. You are not just the person that you thought you were. You are that, and something else, that you’re about to find out. You are fragile. But you’re also strong. And you had no idea! Imagine the possibilities of you, being you, being multiplied by your choices, expanding your horizons, your abilities, changing your future. Remember who you are, but be also ready to learn more about yourself.

7. You can dream, dream big, dream ahead. And all that dreaming will now focus on you. So, you thought you would be in a couple forever. Meaning that, that trip in Jamaica will no longer look like a honeymoon. However, it could turn out better! Do you have the guts?

8. Staying open, will allow you to get exposed to a brand new world that you had no idea that existed. Maybe they hurt you. Maybe you hurt them. By all means, do not close the doors to the world. You have the right to mourn, to remain silent, to get angry. Yet, you owe it to yourself to LIVE.

9. Food will make you feel good, but won’t make you happy.  The same goes for one-night stands, shopping, extreme drinking or smoking. Find out what makes you whole. You have a new relationship to nurture; that one with yourself.

10. The sun is always brighter when you long for the summer. And it will come, again. TC mark

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