Moving forward in life is inevitable- tomorrow is going to come. Some of us are extremely blessed to experience tomorrow and some of us won’t make it. The scary thing about life is that we might not always be thankful for how blue the sky is or the random smile we received from another customer at the bagel store because we are in a rush to get to work.
As we get older we want the days to slow down- we want to absorb the laughter of our grandchildren and we want it to take as long as possible to celebrate our next birthday. For the younger us it seems like we can not wait for our next birthday- 13, 18, 21. With these birthdays comes new experiences- finally able to call yourself a teenager, gambling and of course the first legal drink. With that comes many other reasons why we wish our youth away- we can’t wait to graduate high school, go to college, get married and buy our first house. We are always looking to the future- at least that’s what I always did.
The day I stopped looking to the future or the next best thing was the day God wanted me to learn numerous important lessons.
This was the day my heart fell apart- when I heard those infamous words “I’m just not happy anymore”. As a 24-year-old girl who was head over heels in love those were the last words I could have ever wanted to hear. In a blink of an eye I didn’t want tomorrow to come anymore, I could not imagine the next day of my life without this person. But it seemed like I was missing the big picture; for months. Like all others who experienced a significant heartbreak – it seems like no one ever gets away without this experience– I had to move on with my life.
No matter how bright the sun shined the days just felt cloudy, I was losing sense of who I was, I left a part of me back in that relationship I could not seem to get over. I’m pretty sure it was just because I did not want to bite the bullet and just move on. The mornings always seemed to be hardest for me.
There was the split second I would open my eyes and everything was okay and then the tears would roll down my face. As well as the mornings, the weekends seemed hard – I wasn’t busy enough- it gave me to much time to think and well- feel sorry for myself. As the days and weeks progressed I began to realize so much I had to be thankful for.
I had my family to be thankful for, they saw the sad, tired, hurt look on my face as I dragged my feet through the house day after day, they never gave up on me, they hugged me every day, they knew I needed one.
I had my friends to be thankful for, to the friend that laid and cried with me in my bed – the friend that day after day still answered all of my phone calls and listened to me sob – the friend that surprised me with comfort foods. Beyond that I was healthy, I had a beautiful home to live in and I was pursuing my dream career.
It’s funny how now all these things I had to be thankful for I took for granted while I was in my relationship.
All those days I ran out of the house to be with my boyfriend while I left my dad in this empty house, never asking him about his day, I never thought about his loneliness. The friends who took me under their wing even though I skipped out on lunch invites and sleepovers because I was too caught up in having a sleepover with my boyfriend.
When I began to understand how amazing the people in my life were, I knew it was time I needed to start looking on the bright side. I began to realize that not only did I not want tomorrow to come but I was not even experiencing today. But why? I had amazing people who actually loved me and cared about me to experience all these new exciting days with. After this epiphany I decided to change my outlook on life and take these lessons and use them to my advantage.
Throughout this experience I have learned to be the friend someone needs when they are having a bad day. I decided to be the daughter I was supposed to be, the one to give him a hug everyday. I decided to buy that cup of coffee for the person rushing to get to work. I wanted to make a difference, not only for myself but for the people around me I wanted to touch someone’s life the way my family and friends have touched mine.
Life is not easy and it never will be; there will be obstacles to face and decisions to make everyday but just remember that there is so much to be thankful for.
The moment we open our eyes in the morning brings us another day closer to god’s doors, so be thankful for today and be thankful for each and every other day you have lived. Whether you realized it or not the person you are today may be the reason for someone else’s smile tomorrow.