8 Things To Do When You’re Crushing On An Ex Who Doesn’t Want You Back
1. Delete your “song”
Don’t deny it. Even if there wasn’t an official agreement between the two of you that it was your song, there’s still a track that, as soon as it comes on, floods your brain with memories until your head is spinning. As tempting as it may be to have a good cry to that song every night, resist the temptation and spend that time surfing the web for a new band that you don’t associate any old memories with. You’ll feel a sense of empowerment and have more drive to shake those feelings.
2. Drop the “still friends” act
Yes, there are those rare occasions when that “I just want to be friends” conversation is actually serious, but 99% of the time, face-to-face conversations after a breakup are nothing but heaping piles of small talk drifting between you. Keeping up false pretenses just makes the post-relationship period that much worse since you’re both fully aware of the tension between you.
3. Make a list of their faults
Although it sounds narcissistic, this is an especially good tip if you’re the one that was dumped in your previous relationship with this person. Even if you’re the dumper, keep in mind that you’re probably better off without someone that drove you to ending a relationship with them in the first place.
4. Get out of the house
It can be pretty tempting to hole up in your bedroom with nothing but a Netflix subscription and a pantry full of chocolate when you’re feeling unloved, but this is just going to give your mind more time to dwell on your ex. Finding a distraction can give you a much-needed opportunity to let go for a while and enjoy life without your ex.
5. Remember that they’re an ex for a reason
By now, you’re probably coming up with reasons why it didn’t work last time and trying to justify these reasons, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re justifiable. If you broke up any significant amount of time ago, you’ve had time to forget a lot of the things that led to the breakup, and those that you do remember don’t seem as bad now, but once you enter that relationship again, you’re just going to realize how bad they actually were.
6. Keep your distance
When you’re attracted to someone, all you want to do is get close to them, but when it comes to an already doomed crush, the best thing to do is keep your distance. Keeping those butterflies in your stomach at bay can help relieve a lot of added stress.
7. Treat yourself
Show yourself that you can make yourself just as happy as they made you by taking yourself out to dinner, splurging on a shopping trip, or seeing a movie. You’ll give yourself a chance to enjoy a night out while feeling a sense of independence.
8. Keep your friends close
Keeping a close-knit circle of friends nearby that can remind you of all of the reasons it didn’t work out the first time can be a huge confidence-booster when you’re feeling regretful and unworthy of this oh-so-amazing ex. Have someone that you can vent to without feeling embarrassed that won’t laugh at how you’re feeling.