February 24, 2015

12 People Answer One Tricky Question About Good And Bad Sex

Report This Article
What is the issue?
Google Pixel
Shutterstock / Ollyy
Shutterstock / Ollyy

Love and Sex are universal concepts and widely discussed among people from all walks of life. A recent pointless conversation with a friend brought forth a question that I thought would be interesting to have answered.

Would you rather have bad sex with the one you love for a life time or good sex with the one you don’t, knowing that the love of your life is out there?

This is a highly subjective question and if broken down, could branch out into multiple tiny arguments and questions, but I decided to leave it open to interpretation. Here are few of the colorful answers that I’ve received.

1. More Than A Moment Of Pleasure –Mike Eisen, 44, Minnesota, U.S.A

“Bad sex with the one I love. Sex becomes so much more than just a moment of pleasure.”

2. The Leaking Bathroom Ceiling Analogy –Taran Jensen, 24, Melbourne, Australia)

“I think I’d so much rather have bad sex with the one I love for a life time because good sex isn’t going to get me through life but love will. One can have good sex for only so long, but then feelings take over and there’s such a big chance of getting attached. Especially me, personally speaking. I wouldn’t bother getting intimate with anyone just for the sake of it.

So pretty much no sex if I don’t have anything for that person (feelings, crush, a thing, etc.) It’s kind of like buying an amazing house with one little flaw. You don’t want to give up the house only because it has that small problem (the bad sex). You want to either live with it (which is a lame idea, because there’s always room for improvement), or you want to improve things in that aspect of life! No one just finds an amazing house, feels really cozy and comfy in it and then goes “Oh, the bathroom ceiling is leaking? Nah I can’t be bothered with it, I’m selling this house”

Or at least I personally wouldn’t sell the house. I’d keep it and make improvements if possible. Although, the absolute truth is that I don’t really NEED either. Neither love, nor sex. WANT is a completely different story. I have a bad habit of living on the bare minimum. I don’t know how to place it, but let’s just say it’s all ‘survival instincts’ haha. It also helps me to not get attached. In case things go wrong, I need to know I won’t have the support suddenly and I need to know that I have to survive on my own.”

3. “Always Good Sex.” 
–Nicola Mateo, 40, Punta del Este, Uruguay
“I don’t think I’m made for love, so it has to be good sex, always good sex.”

4. “Sex Holds Marriages Together. Age Old Wisdom.” 
–Shreyans Gupta, 28, Delhi, India

“Sex cannot be everything, you need more in life. I mean there is always masturbation to make up for bad sex. See as far as staying with a person is concerned; sex cannot be the sole reason. But I can always be creative by suggesting things – role plays, threesome and all that. And I am ashamed to say this, but I would rather have a mistress for good sex but I won’t let go of the person I love.

Not that I want to cheat but if the one I love is so bad at sex then I might consider, purely for physical reasons. But, I don’t think you can stay bad at sex for so long; In my case I know I will get the best out of her in bed, that’s my curse. Another reason why I would choose the person I love is because life would be easy which means I will get what I want success, money, happiness, basically a fulfilling life and success brings you women. Whereas one with good sex, that woman will pull me down In terms of life I will be addicted to her just because of sex, our lives would be screwed up, and we will fight.

For me inner peace and happiness are far more important, my freedom is important, respect is important and I said earlier you can always buy sex. By practical standards if she loves me she better get better at sex. Sex holds marriages together. Age old wisdom.”

5. Turn Bad Sex Into Awesome Sex –Thomas Wilson, 32, Berlin, Germany

“Personally I’m fairly a monogamous person so I’d stick to number one. Also life time is a big word and a long period to turn bad sex into awesome sex, I believe.”

6. Player Turned Gentleman 
–Shane JX Fernandes, 22, Stratford, Newham, U.K.

“I’d probably go for the latter because I’m a player and always will be! But how would you define bad sex? Quite intriguing! If I do find the love of my life and the sex with her isn’t good, what I’d do is still stick with her because of the love I have for her. Quite a tricky question man, end of the day… if I find her; regardless of her skills, I would never have the heart to cheat on her. And that’s honest! … But what if I did? haha”

7. If You Love The Person The Sex Ought To Be Good 
–M.T., 27, Geneva, Switzerland

“1) If I love the person, the sex ought to be good; anything the person does is pretty cool for me. 
2) Suppose good sex with one I don’t love is over, and I expect the person to hug or talk to me, I don’t think it will be as comforting as the person whom I love.
3) Sex lasts for may be an hour or two, but rest of the time, the person who loves me will treat me with dignity as compared to the one who is with me for good sex and I don’t love, I might feel like a commodity”

8. Option 2. Valid Until You Finally Get Hooked To The Love Of Your Life 
–Cyril Guichard, 35, Hainaut, Belgium

“I’d rather have good sex with the love of my life of course, like anyone. And since you can improve quality of sexual relationship with time but hardly turn anyone into love, I’d go with the first option. What did I win? But still, option 2 is valid until you finally get hooked to the love of your life of course. Experience and pleasure are still good to get while waiting for the One.”

9. Sex Is More About Love 
–Aastha Tiwari Sharma, 25, Breda, Netherlands

“For me sex is more about love and feeling and about making the moment special than just for fun. I would have it with the love of my life and make it special than with someone who I don’t know and if him and I are gonna forget it later.”

10. Life Is Too Short To Be Having Bad Sex 
–S.L., 37, Bordeaux, France

“I’d choose option two; life is too short to be having bad sex. Whatever that means.”

11. Bad Sex > Guilt 
–Steffi Vanessa Gomes, 26, Dubai, United Arab Emirates

“Well I would prefer having bad sex with my husband than live in guilt.”

12. It’s About Trust 
–Vally Ferrao, 28, Ontario, Canada

“Bad sex with the one I love. Why? Cause I don’t wanna break the trust that she has in me.” TC mark

For more raw, powerful writing follow Heart Catalog here.

Read This