20 Things People Only Do In New York City
1. Get annoyed while waiting on the subway then leaning over, staring down the subway tunnel as if it’s going to make the train come faster.
2. Feel pangs of annoyance, then sadness, when it’s Saturday night and the next train is coming in thirty five minutes.
3. Know two to three places with a public restroom that are not Starbucks when they’re out and about. Crate and Barrel on the corner of Houston and Broadway for the win!
4. Be like, “Oh, I can’t eat here this place has a C.”
5. Believe that $18 is a perfectly fine price to pay for a salad.
6. Stop and look at real estate prices when you can barely afford your current rent, let alone move/pay first months rent, last months rent, security deposit and brokers fee all over again.
7. Blame the weekend schedule for being late to a thing.
8. Be in deep conversation with someone and still remember to avoid the cellar doors on the sidewalk.
9. Put the TV set on mute as soon as you get in the taxi.
10. Walk past a building, get dripped on and go, “What the fuck was that?”
11. Take Instagram photos of artisanal coffee.
12. Making sure the flash on your phone is always off so you can take secret pics of the hot guy/girl sitting across from you. Fall in love but never see them again.
13. Complain about a 0.25 increase in subway fare but spend $12 on a juice.
14. Say to yourself — and believe — that walking is faster than taking the train.
15. Know that if there’s no one in the empty subway car then you should definitely not be in the empty subway car.
16. Make reservations for a bike.
17. Talk constantly about moving to a cheaper state, but quickly follow that up with “What the fuck will I do there?”
18. Having like 20 metro cards each with like $1.00 or 0.25 on them.
19. When it’s raining — fuck — and you’re annoyed that you have to buy an umbrella from the street when you already have three such umbrellas at home.
20. Not break up with someone you’ve been thinking about breaking up with because it’s summer and he has air conditioning.